(23M) Samaranjay's diary

Yes bro, period varies from person to person. And with this kind of determination, I’m certain that you’ll overcome this easily.

:sweat_smile:thanks, let’s see how long it takes, good night brother I am off of here now

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Same bro. Good night.

Damn I relapsed, 12 days again.
So here’s my confession, I had an account on a cam site and a model sent me a video there a while back, which somehow stayed in my mind, I applied to delete that account but it didn’t get deleted which made me relapse this time, I didn’t think this as porn but it is almost the same, Now I have confirmed the delete of that account. Seriously I immediately felt guilt afterwards and didn’t even get that temporary pleasure, It is not worth it, and now I am going to make a new habit of reading the book easy peasy way to leave porn. I am gonna sleep now, if I don’t get good sleep I won’t be able to study tomorrow.

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Sorry @PrDr @Dean_Ambrose I removed my avatar because somehow It didn’t make me feel like myself, I like this green S much better😅

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I feel ashamed and guilty😔

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Bro, its ok. Get up. Don’t think too much about it. I had relapsed after 33 days, but the only thing which has kept me going and not letting me relapse again is not thinking about it anymore. This is one of the reasons why you should try to sleep earlier, as after the whole day’s tiredness, we become really vulnerable in late nights. We aren’t even 100% conscious. So, forgive yourself and begin.again.
It also has one good effect btw, if you don’t think about it anymore then it’ll get you out of flatline pretty quickly. All the best bro, have a good day.

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Avatar is not what you look like… Avatar is what you aspire to become … is not how you are yourself… It’s how you want to see yourself after passing this …

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Thanks brothers @rohankians @PrDr for inspiration,
I am up again I am not gonna fall, I was not serious enough earlier.

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You are right brother @PrDr , I have a bad sleep schedule, I am gonna shift it this time bit by bit so that by the time I reach my vulnerable point again in 12 days my sleep time is somewhere before 12am

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Update:
Even after I relapsed last night I still had a night fall this morning, I hate night falls, damn this addiction what it is doing to our mind and bodies, I slept for 10 hours today, I don’t think anybody does this but it was raining and I couldn’t wake up, relapse made me tired. F*** PMO, I am not gonna fall now.
@rohankians I am still gonna give my best in today’s study challenge, I will post at midnight now.
I am not gonna use internet whole day now.

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Thats good bro. Even I relapsed in late night after fighting the urges for so many days, that’s when I observed why it happened in night and found the reason. And don’t worry about nightfalls bro, same thing happened with me after relapse as well. They can’t stop us. Keep going.

:heart::pray: thank you brother, Yes I am gonna make the best out of this day​:fire:

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What the heck, what is this relapse making to you?! It happened and you’re still memorising and it humiliates you. You relapsed. Happened. Stand up and fight!
First days are difficult. Be cautious, think only about today. You mustn’t relapse today. It’s hard to focus on studying now. But everyday you’ll have more energy. Every day add 20 minutes to your studying. Work out, +10 minutes of working out everyday.

We believe in you. Don’t dissapoint us!

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Defeated are those who fail to rise when they fall, but no one can stop those from winning who rise from ashes when they are burnt by situations.
Completed 8 hours of study today. I am not gonna stop​:fire::fire::fire:

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It’s been a while since I updated here.
8 jan 10:47 PM 3days 22 hours on current streak
I had to go to my aunt’s place today, I didn’t want to go and wanted to study, just a little part of me wanted to go but my parents told me that this would be a good refreshment for me considering all the study I’ve been doing​:joy::joy:. Yeah I had fun there but I studied only 3 hours today, I could have done more but I am tired because I only had 5-6 hours of sleep last night. I am gonna sleep early today and do a lot of studying tomorrow, target 10 hours so that I can cover up for today.

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I relapsed again last night after completing 4 days, I seriously should read easy peasy now but I can’t find time to read it separately. Should add half or one hour per day for reading easy peasy from now on. Last time I decided the same but couldn’t do it.
Also I have no proper schedule now a days, I don’t exercise daily ( I do exercise once or twice in a week) , though I do meditation and pranayam daily but I think I should also include daily exercise in my schedule. I am going to head off now, make a proper schedule, study for 7-8 hours only, will do exercise in afternoon and also I will read easy peasy at night.

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I just found out easy peasy has only 73 pages as per my moon reader format, it means it will just take 5-6 hours in total to complete it, I can even read it in one go. 5-6 hours is not much of a deal if it helps you to beat any addiction.

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If you have a soft copy can you share it buddy

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https://easypeasymethod.org/
@rohankians open this link in some browser and there is an option in menu bar to download it in pdf or epub format

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