{23}Victor-s Diary

#1

Day 0

My background
My experience with porn was same like yours , begin at young age , but last year it escalated as i started to live alone and could fap anytime. My life was going worse and worse as I coudnt face typical stress situations in work , relationship , school etc. and last few months i feel like i attract all kinds of addictions. So I am fighting on more fronts .

  • Nicotine -i smoke since i was 13 years old , but last 2 years i use E-cig so at least something , but i dont feel strong enough to quit yet
    -Weed - I use to smoke weed 4-6 days in week , But today is 14th day when i am clean and i already feel improve of thinking and i dont have urges to smoke again already :slight_smile:
    -Alcohol - well i found out that i am addicted to porn when i was actually searching more information about adiction to alcohol ( yeah so funny) :smiley: . Well probably its not strong adiction . But i drink some alcohol mostly 5 days a week ( disadvantage of free beers at work) and mostly once a week a drink that much i dont remember 3-4 hours of that night. So i want to definitely decrease that to drink maximally 1-2 times a week.
    Porn

Fapping became my daily bread . right after waking up is a must , when i am bored during the day ,and everytime before I fall asleep. I have already had few ED when came to sex with my GF but i was solving that by not having orgasm for a 3 day ( only edging for long time ). When i found out about porn addiction i realized it is probably reason of many other problems in my life mostly social anxiety, absolutely no self confidence , less energy than ever ( when i could i stay in bed for whole day) . So i decided to start 90 days challenge ( No porn , No masturbating ) and
Today is Day 0 :
Last PMO at 1pm … so now its 10 hours and critical moment is coming ( falling asleep )…Whole day i spent here , reading others stories and I am so suprised how great comunity is here :love_you_gesture: … I feel motivated as hell and have no urges thanks to that. I hope that I will find out what to do in extra time as many of you started new hobbies or working hard on yourselfs ( In this time i am thinking of putting more effort in my studies , i would like to drink more water instead of coke and other sweet drinks , and work on my English i know it sucks so I hope you will understand what i am trying to say here ) .
Wish me Good Luck any reply will be so encouraging

2 Likes
#2

Day 1
Falling asleep last night was neverending my mind coudnt focus on any thought for longer then couple of seconds … after hour and something i succeed ( i had like 2-3 sexual dreams ) and little sign of morning wood without any touch …that was so weird feeling to me. Morning was even harder as I woke up after 4 hours of sleep ( at that situation i ussually fapped and fall asleep again easily ) now i coudnt so I survived another hour just moving from side to side

But after that all urges dissapear , I get off the bed 2 hours earlier than i usually do and started be productive as I am feeling good … its only 24hours of NoFap and I feel much better and so proud I resist 2 tough times :smiley: probably its placebo effect now , whatever i feel good and that matters

I think i should notice my mood so I can track this process better - 8/10 — written at 12:30pm

#3

Day 2
Rest of the day 1 went quite well too , i talked to girl at school ( just needed some useful info , but it was easier to ask ) , and what suprised me the most i could look into peoples eyes even to my “crush” she definitely notice that :slight_smile: rest of the day was less energetic so i fall asleep when i arrived for 3 hours … and then coffe as I had to learn for todays exam ( It is such a bad idea to drink coffe at 11pm ) so whole night awake , trying to sleep or watching youtube ( motivation stuff ) … No strong urges , i dont touch myself etc. but same fantasies and thinking long times about nofap … anyway today was my 15th day of NoWeed and i absolutely forgot about it ( mostly i say to myself : today is my x th day and i dont need it anymore ) urges for weed are gone honestly , neither thinking about alcohol …Wish me luck at exam

Mood : 7/10 ( bit more tired because of no night sleep )

Edit : I am not taking much preventive actions like blocking browser . I have to believe i will not go that sites because i dont want to not because i cant.