(22M) Samaranjay's diary

Hi! I am a mechanical engineering graduate and I am preparing for govt exams in India, more specifically I am preparing for GATE now a days, it is on 14th feb 2021. 52 days left till my exam. I’ve been Practicing no fap since jan 2020, my highest streak till now is 19 days only. I made a 12 day streak recently and relapsed, I was hoping to not fall back into this trap atleast until my exam. But 3 days in after this streak I relapsed again. I relapsed last night and today I am not able to concentrate on my studies, dedication level is also quite low. I posted a confession when I relapsed last time but it kind of got ignored. So now I’ve decided to keep a diary here. I don’t promise to update very regularly but I will post anytime I am feeling down, any new feelings or anytime I am about to give up. Hope this will help me to be more consistent in my studies and make longer streaks.
I was feeling a bit conscious about my user name because it is my real name, but I’ve seen a video on youtube and the guy said you should be ashamed if you are in trap of this addiction and not acknowledging it. But you shouldn’t be ashamed because you are trying to get out of this trap and acknowledge it. So here I am saying openly I am Samaranjay Sharma, I am a porn addict, but I am putting my full effort to get out of this addiction and do good with my life.

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I wish you all the very best brother. May all your dreams come true :muscle::muscle::muscle::fire::fire::fire::fire::heart:

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Thanks brother @Deeepp ! :pray:. I wish the same for you.

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This battle is difficult to win , but not impossible, Just keep going .

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Yes Brother, and it is necessary at this point of my life, else lot of my time goes wasted😅

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Lot of people on this app share your story so you’re not alone :facepunch: you’re still here and still trying and that’s all that counts. Good luck with your studies and ace that exam!

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It is 2nd day after my last relapse, even today focus and dedication were quite low, felt sleepy whole day even after 7.5 hrs of sleep. Didn’t do much study only done 1 hr of study till now but I aim to hit 6 hrs before I sleep. Also I have messed up my sleep pattern a bit woke up at 11 last 2 days, woke up at 10 today, gonna wake up at 9 tomorrow so I have to be ready to sleep around 1 in the night. Gonna shut my phone off now till I complete 6 hours of study.

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Didn’t reach 6 hrs, reached 5.5 hours, still happy because for past 4-5 days I haven’t been crossing 4.5 hours of study, could have done 6 hrs but fixing sleep is more important for me rn. Focus has started to improve I think I can do 8-9 hrs of study tomorrow.

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I woke up at 9:35 today, still improvement woke up 25 mins early than last day, it’s 10 PM, I didn’t study as much as I expected, Spent time playing basketball and exercising. I’ve done 4 hours of study till now, gonna do 2 more hours. Focus was good whole day.

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Did only 1 more hour, total just 5 hrs of study today, now I am feeling tired and sleepy probably because of a lot of exercise I did in the evening. But that’s enough bull shit excuses I am giving myself.
Tomorrow’s target: 10 hrs of study, though I have not crossed 9 hrs even once in this year but the bigger the target the more I’ll do, let’s see how close I can get to this, gonna watch 1 episode of modern family now and sleep ( watching sitcoms before bed is my habit). Also I am not gonna switch on internet tomorrow until I am done studying tomorrow night.

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Keep going :muscle::muscle::muscle::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire::fire:

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You too brother! All the best for tomorrow!

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I appreciate the courage you showed by telling us your real name. Kinda inspired me to. So yea my name is Alan. I’m a porn addict. Been trying nofap since April this year and my highest streak is 52 days. I’m currently on my 12th day. all the best to you and may you be successful in all your endeavours

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Good brother alan! You are on a good path, that’s a good streak, keep going, all the best!

27 dec, its 12:13 am, didn’t use phone whole day, I had a limit of 9 hrs study, today I set a new limit, completed 10 hrs of study all with good focus, excellent day.

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I have completed 6 days on no fap. Honestly I have very less urges now, and focus is also pretty great probably because after my last streak I didn’t binge, so most of the benefits stayed with me. These days I am at a whole new level of dedication and focus.

It is 3AM here, I studied till 1:15, after that I checked messages, them watched an episode of modern family, usually I don’t stay awake this late but I don’t know what happened today😅. This is a messed up sleep schedule I know, I’ve been trying to shift it to sleep early and wake up early but I keep messing up. Studied for 8.5 hours in both past two days. But now I am late for bed and can’t say anything about tomorrow. But still I am aiming to study for atleast 9 hours tomorrow.
Let’s see how tomorrow goes.

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Ok so here’s the solution, usually I sleep for 8 hours but since I am too late to sleep that much I am gonna sleep 6 hours, will take a power nap tomorrow afternoon if necessary. Good night!

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It’s best if you don’t sleep in the afternoon, coz it will only fuck up your sleep cycle further. Have 8 hours of sleep everyday, make that a priority and not the 10 hours of study. A great person once said “too much study and no sleep makes samaranjay a dull boi”

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Haha I know man, I didn’t sleep in the day, I am gonna take 9 hours of sleep today to cover for yesterday’s sleep quota😂. Yeah 8 hours of sleep is my priority, because when I sleep less my studies are not much effective, but everyone messes up once in a while😅.