[21M] strongwillpower's Diary

Relapses happen bro, but just get up stronger

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I year on this forum completed.
There were a lot of ups and downs with nofap during this year, but surely number of relapses decreased. Also awareness about self, about PMO causing harm to us… all such awareness i never had before increased this year. i plan to continue working on myself.

One more thing that i learnt is… God created you… but after that you are your own developer. No one else can built who your are and what you wanna be. Other’s decisions are not going to make or break your life. You yourself, your choices, your decisions, your sacrifices are going to make or break yourself. Your life is in your own hands, so decide, whether to keep shaking with your hands, or to make a fist and punch out your challenges and problems.

So get that self awareness. Work for yourself. Work on yourself. Also you have to work against yourself (your bad self). Fight for what you want in life.

Have a good times fellow companions. Or more than that, i would love to say, have a tough time companions. Because tough times make strong peoples.

Peace. :v:

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Bro, how is your life going? It’s been a long time we heard from you. We all started this journey together and we are also ending this together!
I hope and pray that you are excelling in life. We are together in this.

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Hello @Tagore my life’s going good. Currently i have study stress so I don’t visit here more. I just don’t get time. I almost forgot about my diary too. Because i was relapsing often. I will try to find a way to get back to my diary updating.

How are you doing brother? @Tagore

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Hello guys, here i am, restarting this journey again. I realised i have been running away from my problems again from a long time now.
Target this time :- 61 Days (previous best)

Counter reset time :- 30th April 2021 :- 12:00 noon.

Anyone of my friends here want to join this journey again with me?

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I am with you brother… You’ll see many improvement in me I am damn sure. And will help as an helping hand to pass any hurdle.

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Thanks brother. Let’s do this !

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Aur bhai kaise ho @strongwillpower ? Bohut din hua hum bat nhi kar pa rhe he…

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Yes brother! @_TIGER I’m good. I’ll DM you.

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Day 1 Completed.

Got urges 2 times. Once while studying and once at time of sleep.

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Day 2 Completed

Got urges today also. But i didn’t relapsed because i don’t want to fall down at Day 1 itself.

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Day 3 and Day 4 completed.
On Day 3 i got urges
On Day 4 morning i saw sex-dreams.

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Day 5 Completed. Had a boner once. But i straightaway urinated and let the boner go away.

Day 6 also Completed. But there’s a problem.

On Day 6 afternoon, i was asleep. And i saw a dream in which i was having sxx. I tried hard to wake up but i couldn’t. The sxx completed but still i couldn’t wake up. After some time i woke up and saw my pant wet. It was not all the fluid out but a considerable amount of fluid. And even after waking up, the fluid continued coming out little my little. So i fapped with no interest and removed all the fluid out.

Seriously for last 5-6 days I didn’t think of any good reason to fap. So i abstained well. But this happened today.

What should i do? Reset my counter or continue with it?

Please let your opinions in.

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Day 7 completed.
There were urges because of boredom. But instead i spent time on snapchat feeds so that my mind gets distracted.

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Day 8, Day 9, Day 10 Completed.

8 and 9 completed with ease. But on Day 10, i got tempted to watch P. I saw this as a process building in my mind, with it’s destination at MO.
So i decided not to fuel this process. Now when i think of that time when i got tempted and literally imagine all the stuff that i was going to see and do, i feel good that i made past it. I will keep this feeling alive in me for preventing me from falling for temptations again. And so the journey continues.

Also i would say,

watching P0rn is not the solution/escape way for your depression, anxiety, stress, boredom, loneliness etc.

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Day 11, Day 12, Day 13
All days Completed with ease.

On Day 13 , i was alone at home for sometime. Also i was super bored for past few days. But i didn’t even peeked for a single time. Looking forward for more good days.

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Day 14 completed with ease. No urges at all.

Now-a-days I don’t find any good reason to fap :joy: absistence is good.

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Day 15 completed.
Honestly i got urges today. But as i said in earlier post (Day10) I imagine and go through all the process of it, like what all things will i do if i give up to urges and what would i feel after doing it. This again prevented me from relapsing. Streak continues.

Edit :-
Trigger was boredom. Because before when i used to get bored, i used to cope it up with PMO.

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