[21M] RandomGuyWithAGoal's Diary

Day 1
I’ve really been trying to stop this for a year and the best i’ve got till now is 43 days. I was really interested when I saw other journal’s on this forum. So I also want to try this. I would post daily at night before I sleep about How did I do that day and about all my feelings currently. I am currently feeling ok and a bit happy for starting nofap again. Rest about the feelings will be posted tonight.

7 Likes

Finished Day 1 :white_check_mark: 23rd Jan 2021

On the 1st day I would mostly free myself that is I won’t force productivity and let my mind comeback , its kind of a rest day for me. So today I build up a lot of motivation by reading others diaries and posts on forum and by listening to music. And it helped me to build a good mindset to start the journey of nofap. I am currently planning to depend on motivation for the 1st few days then I would let productivity come in along with motivation. I am really feeling great now reading all those motivational posts, but I know that i can’t depend on motivation alone.
I will at the present moment consider the following things from tomorrow to build up a new habit

Wake Up (At/Before 6am)
Reading
Exercise (Min. 1hr )
Affirmation
Visualization
No Social Media
Productivity
Good Diet
Not lying in Bed with phone
No Mobile
Meditation

These are the main things I want to focus on at the moment.

Also I am gonna ask these questions to myself daily.? I would also be posting it beneath everypost.

  1. Feeling urges?
    Wanna Masturbate?
    OK before that 1 min?
    Do You wanna be a looser in life?
    Then go on Masturbate!
    Or Else Do You wanna be a winner in life?
    Then don’t Masturbate If you win you will live your dream and will always be happy for yourself. You could cherish in life in all formats.
    If you loose(Give up on nofap)
    You’ll be a looser for life… (dont ever give up)
    Good luck the choice is yours

  2. When you are in your death bed would you choose to regret everything you did in life or will you be happy for the life you’ve lived?

  3. What stupid thing you have been doing all this time to screw up your
    life?

  4. What do we say to the God of Urges?

Some of my most favourite Quotes:

  1. "If you quit now, then you would obviously begin nofap again
    and you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now.“

  2. "Suffer Today and Live Tomorrow"

  3. “Courage isn’t having the strength to go on, it’s going on when you don’t
    have strength”

  4. "A mistake repeated more than once is a decision"

                                  I WILL WIN
4 Likes

Great start bro. We are all together in this; if you need any help or support we are all here for you.
And remember, commit 100%
Nothing less than that can get you out of this filthy shit hole of pmo.

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Yes ofcourse brother… I would really stop it. Also thanks for being with me !! It really means a lot to me :smiley:

2 Likes

Today While I was bathing a new thought struck me and It seems to be really interesting so I though abt sharing it here.

What if Nofap is not just about stopping PMO and instead is about building your dream.

Because if you want to stop this habit , the one and only way to do it is through self discipline and what I mean by self discipline is:

  • Waking up early (Doesn’t mean sleep less - Sleep atleast 6.30-7hrs a day)
  • Exercising for an hour at least
  • Telling yourself that you would live your dream
  • Meditating daily
  • Most importantly working like hell for achieving it

In short being overall productive and keep this habit intact for about 1000 days atleast.
(Because it would take a lot of time for our brain to completely rewire I guess!! So always keep your target high) So if you come out being succesfull in nofap then you will be that legend in your dream and if you loose you will be a slave of your mind for the rest of your life (There is no mediocre or average life in between). You either live your dream or you live life of regrets. So instead of thinking nofap as something that abstains you from PMO, think otherwise that is “Its a challenge for you to live your dream”. Winning is the one and only option. You can’t think about a life of regrets. Your subconscious mind should feel that you are really trying to get out of PMO and it wouldn’t feel like that if the only thought in your mind is to stop masturbation and chill !! Your thought should be to take good care of your body and mind and that’s how the you can imbibe it into your subconscious mind and win your life.
You will fail a thousand times…But you will be succesfull as long as you keep on trying.
We’re part of an experiment!! The great porn experiment… We’re the 1st generation to unkowingly slip into the misery. And We can defeat it forever…
NEVER QUIT

3 Likes

Day 2 :white_check_mark: 24th Jan 2021

Today was really a good day… Everything went well for me , didn’t experience many urges. I kept motivating myself by reading other journals.
This is how my day went:
I woke up a bit late because the alarm’s sound was too low and I forgot that, but the moment I opened my eyes I just woke up and didn’t sleep again.
Wakeup (6.35am) :x:
Reading(Easy Peasy) :white_check_mark:
Exercise(1hr) :white_check_mark:
Meditation(10mins) :white_check_mark:
Affirmation :white_check_mark:
Visualization :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Good Diet :white_check_mark:
Not lying in bed with phone :white_check_mark:
No Mobile (Not using phone unless really required) :white_check_mark:
Productivity(2hr 40mins - Studied) :white_check_mark:
I am really happy to the way the day turned out to be, looking forward to pushing the limits :fire:
Being better day by day:fire:
What do we say to the God of Urges?

If you quit now, then you would obviously begin nofap again
and you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

                             I WILL WIN
2 Likes

We all make mistakes, Well that’s ok…We can’t be perfect overnight nor we should try to be. Maybe just try to make lesser mistakes as each day passes :blush:
Wishing everyone a Good Day :innocent:

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You have a good routine Warrior. Also try to wake up at 5 and work more hours.
This time Iam 100% you’ll beat this addiction. We are together in this bro. Whenever those fucking urges try to cut you down think:

You are not alone. Don’t think: ‘oh God, Iam suffering alone’

No. All of us are in this together. We are sharing our power and strength to each other and that will help us push through any amount of suffering. Because:

2 Likes

Thanks brother @Tagore for those motivational and inspired words. Actually i’ve been waking up late for the past few weeks so i am first trying to wakup at 6am for the first 1/2 weeks then will switch it to 5am

:chart_with_upwards_trend:

1 Like

Day 3 :white_check_mark: 25th Jan 2021

For the last 2 days the moment I woke up I was feeling motivated to stop this and go ahead doing my daily routine , I haven’t felt like this before. Today I woke up at 5am thinking that its 6am(Without any alarm) But anyway I let myself take rest and Wokeup at 6am with the same feeling. I was really excited and motivated from the morning :innocent:.

I had a habit of drinking 1 glass hot water every morning and I started it again now…Its really good for health as it flushes out the toxins from the body.

I haven’t exercised for few days as well and I started it yesterday and my triceps were pretty sour but still I was able to exercise

For Meditation I use the headspace app and its really wonderfull, If you are a beginner then I would really recommend headspace because I was someone who meditated without any app for few weeks and this app makes everything much more easier (meditation is about being easier with yourself). So I would really recommend everyone to try headspace.

Also today after meditating for 10 mins, I was feeling happy for nothing , nothing in the sense Happy for breathing , Happy for living , Happy for seeing i.e. not depending on anything or anyone , just me myself.and its really the best feeling in the world. Sitting silently and being happy for it is a gift

I didn’t do anything much productive today. Was reading journals all day. I completely read @JumpingBuddha 's journal and I was really into it. I really liked everything about his journal and learned I have quite a lot to learn as a part of self improvement.All I really care in terms of productivity is to keep my mind at ease and not letting it wander (just for today).

I was not really into Rewire forum when I had mobile but when I started using rewire in laptop only forums exist and its actually much much better. You could connect with people more and share a lot more and i felt it to be really amazing.

If I could think about one of the downfall I am experiencing currently is having low confidence in public but I do know its because of the start and it will gradually disappear.

I am looking forward to improve myself and knowing that there is yet a lot to learn in this vast pool of knowledge I am going to day 4 and it has already begun :smiley:

Wakeup (6am) :white_check_mark:
Reading(Easy Peasy):white_check_mark:
Exercise(1hr):white_check_mark:
Meditation(10mins):white_check_mark:
Affirmation :white_check_mark:
Visualization :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Good Diet :white_check_mark:
Not lying in bed with phone :white_check_mark:
No Mobile :white_check_mark:
Productivity :x:

Being better day by day :fire:
If you quit now, then you would obviously begin again
and you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

3 Likes

Day 4 :white_check_mark: 26th Jan 2021

Today also went good, I haven’t experienced any strong urges until now but I know they will come sneaking behind my back and i have to protect myself at some point. Any way looking forward…
Wakeup (6am) :white_check_mark:
Reading(Easy Peasy):white_check_mark:
Exercise(1hr):white_check_mark:
Meditation(10mins) :x:
Affirmation :white_check_mark:
Visualization :x:
No Social Media :white_check_mark:
Good Diet :white_check_mark:
Not lying in bed with phone :white_check_mark:
No Mobile :white_check_mark:
Productivity (1 hr) :white_check_mark:

Had an online test today so couldn’t meditate… still i could have done it in the morning.

But from tomorrow onwards I am gonna try to be better in all sense.
Being better day by day :fire:
If you quit now, then you would obviously begin again
and you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

1 Like

Day 5 :white_check_mark: 27th Jan 2021

I haven’t faced strong urges till now… but today was a day of regrets :sweat_smile: All those past moments of embarrasement came in like a river flowing through me. I have experienced the same kind of feelings so it wasn’t such a big issue.

Wakeup (6am) :white_check_mark:
Reading(Easy Peasy):white_check_mark:
Exercise(1hr):white_check_mark:
Meditation(10mins) :white_check_mark:
Affirmation :white_check_mark:
Visualization :white_check_mark:
No Social Media :x: (only for 15mins & was in control)
Good Diet :white_check_mark:
Not lying in bed with phone :white_check_mark:
No Mobile :white_check_mark:
Productivity (1.5 hr) :x:

The Good thing is that I am strictly following my routines and since i use mobile only to know how I manage time and for listening songs, I am currently able to control myself easily… But still i’ve gone like this and failed and it was because I lacked the purpose of life(my passions and dreams). What do I mean by lacked is that even though I visualized myself as the one in my dreams daily for many hours, still I was never giving the action(putting in the work to be that person that I wished to be). So from today onwards I am gonna count myself as productive only if I studied/did anything productive for more than 3 hrs.

Also I wanted to share my feelings about stopping this habit.

The one and most important thing to consider is that you should not let your mind wander. My mind does not wander in these situations

  • When I am listening to songs. That doesn’t mean listen to songs 24*7, cause it will damage your ears. Listen to songs that you really enjoy and your mind can’t wander. I listen to songs at regular intervals and I do feel good and I don’t consider it as a waste of time. It may be helpful for you

  • Reading other’s journal. Knowing others experience with pmo is really a good way to keep your brain active and thinking how to stop this habit. I have read a lot of pretty good content in the forum which I was not even aware of before… Forum as seen in mobile sucks(according to me). I like to use my lap for forums. Also I am not using the mobile app and I am not gonna let anyone know the reason(You can guess but I wont tell why). But I can’t depend on others journals a lot because I have read most of the best ones completely and I don’t see more but still searching.

  • Reading books. Reading is something I was not at all into until at a point when I came to know how stupid I was (But i wasn’t into pmo at that time :sweat_smile:) But now for me reading is kind of meditation and I really feel good reading good books.

  • Productivity. This is something that you should really take into account. Today I did study only for 1.5hrs but still I wouldn’t have made that far. Because I was continuosally pushing myself when my mind said no and I am really happy for it.

  • Socialising. To be honest I am really introverted. I was like that till 12th because of the way I grew up ( I didn’t have many people to talk to in the prime age because of personal reasons) . Still I am also responsible I never considered socialising as such an important skill back then, Who knows that one day you would get stuck in pmo cycle and wish if you had tons of people to socialise with and be active, still no regrets. Also in 1st 2 years of college I really became introverted because I was an overthinker and I always think what others would think, how they’ll feel ,before I talk and that made me the quietest one in the room and pmo worsened it (My greatest fear was whether I would seem to be stupid infront of them or so and really guys don’t be afraid of being stupid(making mistakes while talking to people), it’s not being stupid, its how you improve. Making mistakes and understanding from them and then making new mistakes is the best thing you could do in your life), . I don’t network at all with anyone in college(except 2-5 people) and I do sometimes feel sad for it. Also I have looked at a lot of videos about socialising but nothing works unless you go out and talk and covid has still worsened it.

  • Exercising. Its one of the best ways. I workout 1 hr daily in the morning and Play badminton with my brother daily for 1 hr in the evening and I feel great but that feeling is temporary (even though your health improves you can’t use it as one and only tool to defeat pmo).

  • Meditation. Its really wonderfull to meditate, Guided meditation will be better if you are a beginner (use headspace) You would really feeling awesome and happy for spending 10mins for yourself doing nothing and also your mind will feel great.

So the main thing I want to tell you is that focussing on productivity and passion is the best way because most of your day can be occupied if you are doing what you are passionate and you would slowly forget everything about pmo and urges.

Remeber action should be the reason behind your motivation and not the opposite.

Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.
Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.

I am someone who thinks a lot and thought about sharing them, so that you may find helpfull. :blush:
Wishing you all a good day.

Being better day by day :fire:
If you quit now, then you would obviously begin again and you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now. So dont quit

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision -Paulo Coelho

2 Likes

Happy to see that you are making great improvements bro
Keep going, this is the way to get out of this addiction once and for all. Take your life to the next level that you won’t even identify with your old self who is interested in nothing but pmo.
Kee up the spirit. We are all together in this

3 Likes

Thank you @Tagore
As always step by step day by day…
Changes will follow :innocent:

1 Like

Day 6 :white_check_mark: 28th Jan 2021

A good day without many noticeable urges. I didn’t study anything till evening and its mostly because my morning routine (wakeup , reading , exercise , cold shower) is taking so much time in between I rest also, so from tomorrow onwards I am going to finish everything before 10am.

:white_check_mark:Wakeup (6am)
:white_check_mark:Reading(Easy Peasy)
:white_check_mark:Exercise(1hr)
:x:Finish Morning routine by 10am
:white_check_mark:Meditation(10mins)
:white_check_mark:Affirmation
:white_check_mark:Visualization
:white_check_mark:No Social Media
:x:Good Diet
:white_check_mark:Not lying in bed with phone
:white_check_mark:No Mobile
:x:Productivity (1.5 hr)

I am increasing my number of reps in each exercise every 5 days. Meditation is now seeming to have really good effect lately. After meditating today, I was able to sit and study for 1hr 20mins straight without any breaks and its my best in last 5 days which is really wonderfull.

Todays Thoughts:

  1. Time is the greatest asset and Regret is the greatest liability.
    Time is priceless, time once gone will never comeback don’t waste it unnecessarily. Regret of a lost oppurtunity (Whatever situation it be) is something that will be with you till the end of your life. Minimize the number of regrets in your life as much as possible.

  2. Only locked doors exist in our own mind.
    Take any situation in your life, for eg: this pmo habit. You can always stop, the door to nofap is always open, you only need to push it open. You can achieve everything that you dreamed of getting, just remember there are no locks, its an illusion.

Wishing everyone a good day :blush:

Being better day by day :fire:

If you quit now you would obviously begin again and would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now. So don’t quit

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

Day 7 :white_check_mark: 29th Jan 2021

A good day… I am really really happy that my first week went well. I didn’t have any noticeable urges in this week, It went well. I am also going to wakeup early everyday .

:white_check_mark:Wakeup (5.45am)
:white_check_mark:Reading(Easy Peasy)
:white_check_mark:Exercise(1hr)
:white_check_mark:Finish Morning routine by 10am
:white_check_mark:Meditation(20mins)
:white_check_mark:Affirmation
:white_check_mark:Visualization
:white_check_mark:No Social Media
:white_check_mark:Good Diet
:white_check_mark:Not lying in bed with phone
:white_check_mark:No Mobile
:white_check_mark:Productivity (5 hr)

I studied for 5 hrs today, and I am realy really happy for that. I didn’t force myself to productive. Everything was in a flow. I don’t remember studying 5hrs a day in the past 3 years of college (Not even during exam days) It’s really is a big deal for me. And this made today the best day of the 1st week. I took small small decisions to get back my time in the morning which I was not utilizing completely, like waking up 15mins early, starting to exercise early and so on.

Todays Thoughts:

  1. Happiness is not a destination, Its a way of life.
    We can’t say that once I get a good job I’ll be happy, Once I have a really fit body I’ll be happy, Once I have a million dollars I’ll be happy. We may think so, but once we get a good job or fit body or a million dollars we would feel normal, we wouldn’t feel anything has changed and nothing would seem so special as the days pass and We would think Oh no! there’s no much of a difference. Happiness comes from solving problems whatever be it an addiction or any other problems. So struggle to solve your worst problems (if you can) or problems that appear difficult for you , thats how you can be happy. Suffering is not that bad actually, it makes us who we are.

I am happy for What I am :blush:
Wishing everyone a good day :blush:

Being better day by day :fire:

If you quit now you would obviously begin again and would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now. So don’t quit

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

1 Like

My thoughts about Week 1

Don’t focus too much on Nofap
At the end of first week, I had very little urges and I am not gonna think it won’t come at all, It’s always sneaking behind my back. And one of the reasons for lesser urges may be because I was really really depressed and sad when I broke my 23 day streak and I got caught up in the chaser effect which worsened it, And at last after 1 or 2 weeks I started on nofap again and always when I start at the rock bottom point I go well for some weeks as after that chaser effect and depressed mode, I really gain some fire inside my mind to stop this. But all this time, I was depending on this fire alone, watching a lot of videos on nofap and remembering why I am doing it and other than that I was just sitting and watching movies ( I do exercise , meditate during somedays) But I wasn’t trying to be productive (earlier). Also I wasn’t journaling anywhere like I am doing now(I really do honestly feel that journaling my thoughts and my daily routines here is very helpfull also reading other’s jourrnals inspired me a lot). Earlier during my nofap days, I relied too much on motivation, but don’t rely on motivation alone because fo the first few days you would watch a lot of motivational content but later you would get bored of motivaional videos (as you are not doing anything other than watching videos). So after some days motivation will get drained, even if you are on a good streak but still you are getting a lot of free time and if you don’t have anything to do (like going for a trip , being with your family members or doing anything else that keeps you active) then your mind starts to wander like always and you start getting bad thoughts that starts turning into urges and you fail ( That’s how I was failing a lot of times). So remember Action inspired motivation is one of the best ways to tackle it. I didn’t give myself anytime to think about nofap. At first I did rely on motivation but later I started focusing on productivity so that 's what’s motivating me now and I am experiencing true happiness from it not the momentary happines or fire that you get while watching a motivational video.
Hope you find this helpfull

Day 8 :white_check_mark: 30th Jan 2021

Overall good day with ups and downs (no urges)… I experienced some mood swings like being really happy then going to an low feeling then again being happy still everything went good. Cleaned utensils in the kitchen and felt really happy for doing that.

:white_check_mark:Wakeup (5.45am)
:white_check_mark:Reading(Easy Peasy)
:white_check_mark:Exercise(1hr)
:white_check_mark:Meditation(20mins)
:white_check_mark:Affirmation
:white_check_mark:Visualization
:white_check_mark:No Social Media
:white_check_mark:Good Diet
:white_check_mark:Not lying in bed with phone
:white_check_mark:No Mobile
:white_check_mark:Productivity (3 hr)

Was not as productive as yesterday, I think I got involved in many other activities such as washing my dress, going out, cleaning the kitchen and so on,but still my mind didn’t get any time to wander as I was mostly busy the whole day doing something.

Some noticeable changes:

  • Memory has increased. I am remembering things more easily. My brain is slowly getting back into shape. Overthinking has decreased because of meditation ( I’m loving it).

  • On the first week when I went out, I was feeling anxeity in social situations and was being awkard in many situation like not looking at people’s eyes, thinking what others would be thinking and being dumb. But today when I went out I was able to easily look into anyone’s eyes when they looked back at me (even girls) and I do feel this as a big thing and thought of sharing it here. :smiley:

Wishing everyone a good day :blush:

Being better day by day :fire:

If you quit now then you would obviously begin again and then you would be desperate to be at the position that you are in now. So don’t quit

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision - Paulo Coelho

2 Likes

Good job! I love to see many of these :white_check_mark:
Glad that you’re feeling better. Use this energy in the right way. Keep going :wink:

1 Like

Ofcourse bro !! Really feeling good. Thank you for those kind words :smiley:

1 Like