[21M] Pingpong1 diary - A tale of a man with fire in heart

I have used porn uncountable times. I have tried inumerous ways. I meditated , prayed , exercised did everything . But nothing worked because , I was not consistent and used just one peek method. But now this wounded soldier will not give not until I get free from this terrifying trap.
New diary for new journey.

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All the best :+1:
I will regularly check in here to see your progress.

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Just keep at it bro. Remember that you are not alone. This community is with you.
We are all watching you so never give up!!

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The minute you peek, you fall.
What i have observed by being in this journey is i have tried many things to make it stop like meditation, exercising, prayers, they do work but they take long time. Even though i havent achieved a very long no fap streak , i have realized that the more strength i put in the thought to stop pmo, the more frequently i failed, so instead of focusing on how to stop being in this cycle I actually stopped thinking about nofap at all but yeah i made sure im not peeking at anything that can force me down that road. It makes it so much easy for me. I hope it helps amd you succeed in every aspect of your life.

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Thank you @_KarmaYogi @roxor and @the_resilient_one . I will not give in easily. Let’s fight this addiction once for all.
@roxor yes bro your advice is very good. Actually I do use it. I don’t know my streak . I have no streak counter but since I am totally alone at hostel for now. Controlling myself was very hard.thats why I keep thinking about nofap. But now I think I got the spirit. I will work hard for it and overcome it.

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Day unknown
Nice day. I did exercise everytime I got urges.:sweat_smile::joy:. Previously I was able to distinguish my sexual thoughts easily and stop them but now I am so indulged in my work I realise it late that I was thinking about pmo for many minutes. That was weird.
I must say my previous streak gave me a super boost of confidence and taste of real life. Now this pmo life seems degrading for me. I want to go back to that life as soon as possible. So that’s why I am working so hard.

Also tommorow I will go to my college after so many months. And see if students coming to take classes . If enough students come I will stay here otherwise back to home. Because my studies is good there.

Anyway ,being alone in hostel is kind of power in itself :joy:. I can do whatever I want . No one watching me.
I am going to sleep now .
Mediation :white_check_mark:
Gita :white_check_mark:
Japa –
Exercise :white_check_mark:
Study :white_check_mark:(4:17)

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Nice :joy:, but you can just put the date here.

Tomorrow. Note it, spelling might be asked in Gate :joy:

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It’s autocorrect bro.:sweat_smile::joy:
Feature which ruined many.

Date of relapse you mean??

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No no, it’s counterproductive, the date or time you are posting this update
Like 5th September, 11 PM
Like that

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6 sept 9:57
Only 3 students were present in class :man_facepalming:t2:. I was hoping atleast 5. And those were present just to roam. So I came back to home . Was a long journey of 5 hours. Earphone in ears and beautiful scenery what else I want…
So yeah resting now.

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7 sept.
Time is slowly flying. I remember my childhood English chapter where time is shown like a man flying which has wings in foot and long hairs. It meant that time can only be caught from front not last. If you try to touch time from last it will be impossible. You can catch time from front, from hairs.So don’t waste time it’s invaluable.

Nice chill day. Did meditation for removing negative thoughts . I don’t know why but I still get unwanted thoughts. I don’t even want to remember those dirty thoughts. God save me :disappointed_relieved:.
Otherwise all was good
Study 4 hours :white_check_mark:
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Japa –
Exercise :white_check_mark:

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I remember that picture too clearly, the man representing time is bald from behind and has hair in front.
I am badly out of track now a days, don’t know what’s happening, but my mind is resisting studies. If I keep doing this I am gonna end up grabbing the bald portion of time’s head and get nothing :worried:

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Your mind is resisting studies now a days but mine is resisting from 1st year.:sweat_smile: :joy:.
But i try to stay motivated.because I believe this is my last chance to prove myself .Else you know why I am doing this :joy: .

Yes same goes for me.
Imagine a person bald from behind and has long hair in font. :sweat_smile:.so that no one can catch him from behind. What a funny figure it would be.
My lame jokes 🤦🤦

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For anyone who wants to listen.

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Keep trying you’ll find best strategy to overcome addiction. Men who try again and again never fail.

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Thanks bro. Appreciate your words. :blush::hugs:

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8sept
Nice day.
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Study 5 hrs :white_check_mark:(still less then enough)
Reflect on myself
Gita - lecture :white_check_mark:

I need to reduce mobile usage and increase study time

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:joy::joy: yeah I do.

Yeah it looked quite funny at first but when I came to know what it means it turned from funny to terrifying in one instant.

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9 august
Quite an interesting day.
I was unable to focus and was eating a lot so I went out alone listening to music . After some time I saw a child watching me. And soon I met him again and then he greeted me. Let me tell you this is very uncommon in Rajasthan . Children here straight up say mc BC etc but he was like smiling to me. Don’t know what he saw , I think he just imagined me a cool dude but actually I am not . :joy:
And while coming back to home I saw a snake crossing the road I stopped and also stopped other children in bicycles . I stopped his cycle forcefully otherwise he would be in gods lap now.
DARK😈

Study 2.5 hours -not good
Meditation :white_check_mark:
Pray :white_check_mark:

Used my last Instagram time now I will not open it for a long time. Useless Instagram (muda)

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:fire::fire::fire::joy: lean manufacturing

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