[21m] NukePizza [Diary] - TURNING MY DREAM INTO REALITY

19.04. Morning

Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Incredibly, I actually woke up at 6 and went jogging. The reason is the talk the evening before with my accountability partner who suggested it and I know I will have to talk to him again this evening, that’s why I have much more power to achieve things because he will judge me if I fail and I don’t want to disappoint somebody. I think it works the same way for him. Im still fasting, I want to see how long I can keep it going but I would be fine with eating anytime. I want to build a jig today, build a shelf and test a steel, I have nearly all day to do it

[Message wasnt posted, no internet connection, so I have time for review of the day now :smiley: :]

Turned out I didnt build much, I finished a knife though that I ll post below here, its a gift and I sharpened knives, but here is a bad thing: I sharpen knife for this family for free, I just do it as a favor and I think nothing of it. But after I sharpened it, the woman approached me and asked if I wanted money for it. I said I dont know, I dont know much much even and then I told her what I saw another person charging. She said thats way too much and told me she’d give me 3€ per knife. Sharpening to razor sharpness took me 30min and I polished the blade and handle too! :frowning: And oiled it. I felt hurt:(! I told her I’d rather do it for free then and left, she came up to me and gave me money but she did it out of guilt and Im feeling very bad for accepting it. I should have not accepted it.

Anyway I started the jig, once its completed I might be able to send something about it :slight_smile: My companion is offline, maybe I ll talk to him in the morning and plan the day. Tomorrow is a day of many lessons so I get to make money :smiley: The counterpart to today where I got to do nearly no lessons and only did some working (we fixed railings). Im excited to write again, bye!

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20.04. 07:13 am

Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Incredibly, I went running again. I cant believe it worked, SOMEHOW I managed to get out of bed. It must be the accountability partner, otherweise I would have never been able to do it, I woke up in a dream and couldnt open my eyes, I fought and opened the window and fell back into bed and the cold air slowly helped me and then I managed to fight my way outside, darn dude that was nearly impossible. The running was very interesting, I felt like it would eat up my frustration with each step like the exertion would burn the frustration away. I should buy good running shoes, Im running in the worst shoes imaginable, I will get foot pain if I continue it and maybe in the knees and hips aswell. [I just ordered them, before journaling I never had the ability to act quickly, thanks to rewirecompanion its possible]. Optimally, I would like to build the jig today and make a few hooks with it to test it. Lets see if its possible

[Edit: Later in the day, its 4:26pm now]
The day turned much differently, I didnt work on the jig at all, the grandson of the people that own the place where I have my workshop approached me and asked me to make him a machete!.. so we spent almost the whole day doing it! But I dont regret it, because when we hardened the blade I got the forge going and told him to temper it while I just used the heat to forge things and they turned out interesting. I made a meat skewer, a hook and two attempts at a key chain pendant. A woman visited the smithy and asked around and Im pretty sure now she was trying to buy something but I didnt pick up the hint and said Im busy, unbelievable. Well she ll come back one day man, dang it.


(this is how it came out of the fire. From here it has to be tempered (the stress is taken out of the hardened metal so it doesnt chip or break on impact) and then we fit the handles. They are completed already too! Made out of apple-wood)

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images (8)_1

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21.04. Morning

Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Alright Im in kind of a rush so I ll type really quickly! I managed the run and getting up early, I downloaded an app for welding because I need to weld something for the jig I want to build and I have never set up a welder on my own before so I dont know the parameters and I ll use the app to find the right ones (I have welded before but when someone else set up the parameters for me) and I hope to finish the machete and post a picture! Alright see you after it!

Edit: afternoon

The kid that asked me to make him a machete is a brat. He’s lazy and impatient, he always wants to finish a task halfway instead of completing it, it is immensely frustrating to do this for him, considering everything is a favor and this is my second day working for him and paying for the steel, wood for handle and electricity. When the machete was finished today, he took it to the woods. He came back and its broken in half. I hate this kid.


Here is the machete pre breaking.


I also started work on a sheath for the first knife (for another kid, his cousin, hes very eager and friendly and I like him a lot). I first made the sheath on paper to test it and now it also exists as leather, its ready for stiching. I ll send a picture of that at a later time.

Edit: Evening:
Today, after I beat someone at armwrestling he said I have big blacksmith hands and it made me very proud :slight_smile: I have regular sized hands heh
My student is working out a lot and getting nearly stronger than me, so now Im motivated to get strong aswell! I bought rice and eggs and I ll eat as much as I can. If I can man, that would be nice I should incorporate this routine slowly as not to disrupt the other aspirations I have before they are securely formed. My accountability partner is slacking, he said he had an unproductive day, so much so that he doesnt wanna do the call. I called him anyway and we did what we could and talked a little.
I ll pull him now and one day when Im weak, he ll pull me! Im very excited about everything!

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22.04 Afternoon:

Sleeping before 10pm: late
Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Im excited!


Sheath! Completed!

The closing mechanism is a bit too lose still and I think I have a solution, I ll cut the leather, make it shorter and re-rivet it back on to make it tight

Somehow Im disappointed. I dont really know what the reason is. I think its that my mother is full of so much fear and every time I talk to her its like shes transfering it to me, she called today. The rest of the day actually only had good news.

I have to think of something to do for next weekend: there is a big party at the court where my smithy is and I want to offer some sort of forging activity for visitors. The idea is this: making horseshoes and while they are glowing hot, giving one to the audience to put in the water. Then they can punch their name in them and buy them. Maybe I should make a sign outside explaining the process. (I have to forge some horseshoes until then, I have to practice it perfectly.)

My accountability partner reached out to me today while I forgot our meeting. Exactly like I said yesterday, he now pulls me after I pulled him! He made a suggestion to me, namely that I shut off my internet at 9:30pm in order to get to bed more easily. I ll do it!

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23.04. 6:54am

Sleeping before 10pm: :white_check_mark:
Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Yeah his advice actually worked. I fell asleep before 10pm, I couldnt manage it for the past 3 days. I went jogging and two things made me very emotional, Jocko Willink saying “hit hard, hit fast and dont stop hitting until the threat is neutralized” and the lyrics from Push it to the limit where playing in my head while I was jogging this morning and somehow the phrase “its go-time”. Im willing to do anything, if any of you have any suggestion how to maximize energy, please tell me, I ll incorporate it

For the event next week I ll forge horseshoes the whole day and keep a few in the fire. When someone comes and wants one, I ll give him a hot one to put in the water so he ll feel its “his” and it will be more precious to him. I now have to find out how to make horseshoes very well, the bending jig is nearly completed too, if I remember it I ll take pictures today

Edit: Tom And Jerry Body transformation

Edit: Evening, 9:57pm
I have a rule to shut off the internet at 10pm so I ll be quick:
I worked the whole day building the floor of a house with the man that gave me so many things so now Im doing a favor for him. I decided I wont do any forging that includes the audience, thats simply not possible with randoms. They wont know what they are doing and the communication will be very bad due to the noise. This is something that can only be done with a group that applied for it previeously and talked to me about it etc, so people who are introduced to the whole thing. So instead I ll just forge some leaves and such. I ll do everything I can to stick to my early sleep - early awaking habit until its stablilized after 30 days. See you! (out of time)

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24.04. Morning

Sleeping before 10pm: slept at like 10:30
Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

Temptation. But no I wont sleep in on a sunday. The quality of life goes up if I have a nice day and I actually cant trade that in for laying in bed longer. It only seems nicer, but in reality it isnt. Sadly hehe.

Who have I become? Michael Jackson? hehe. Jamona. He he

Alright, today I ll work with my friend on building this house and probably cutting more stones. Its a sunday but I ll do it, he did a lot for me and I ll just waste my day if I dont go. I can do some forging at noon, I ll have some time. I ll eat as much as I can before leaving, I want to gain weight, I should cook in the evening. New habit!

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25.04. 06:46am

Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:

I had an interesting experience. Thinking about difficulities I have at the moment, I started drawing something. It became a coiled snake forming a big, big ball resting on a mans shoulders, like the atlas carrying the world.
image
In the middle was just the eye of the snake. Somehow I had the urge to draw fire around it but I thought that would ruin the drawing and I kept doodling around. I ended up with spirals but in the middle there appeared a snakes head.


Intuitively, I kept drawing until the spiral unwound itself and the serpent looked at me

and I saw it was evil (?).

I also drew a mirror with a person standing inside it, meaning not a reflection but some other “me”. Maybe he’s the serpent. I kept drawin and ended up drawing spikes and it and redrawing over the first serpent over and over, then suddenly I realized the spikes were fire and the repeated drawing was the incinerated serpent.

The intimations that made me draw and help me understand it are very subtile and I nearly cant grasp it, Im afraid I ll misunderstand it. At first I associated it with rejuvenation and potential, which would make the incinerating part worrying but in one drawing the serpent looks evil, making me think it is the negative part of me (also the person in the mirror), the evil, self destructive side of me that has been growing over the years with resentment and is now burning away as the habits I implement improve my life. The first intimation of drawing flames around the first image explain the whole picture right at once; its a man carrying “the world”, like atlas would, a huge burden, a big, big sphere and coiled up inside it one big eye. It must be the serpent thats burdening me. Then the other drawings were just the big one broken down into chunks to be explained to me.

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And you are saying you drew all of this unintutively?
Well if you are taking positive meaning of all this then great, but if you are thinking something negative then just understand it means nothing at all :joy:. The first picture felt like a rose to me at first glance.

And you are saying you drew all of this unintutively?

no, fully intuitively; also with writing sometimes when I do REAL writing like where I find out something new about myself I feel like some words are “uncomfortable” and others fit, same with drawing and then something gets expressed.

I also have very difficult dreams

The first picture felt like a rose to me at first glance.

Yeah I can understand how it looks that way :smiley: but I can feel like how its meant.

Like I can feel what the thing is trying to be. I mean it came from me so I guess its very difficult to see it from outside without being me

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25.04. Evening
I got hate comments on a facebook post I made, advertising my tutoring business. I offered a free lesson, three people wrote to me “free lesson, wtf then it must be bad quality”. I was a bit hurt and confused. Later, I got two replies to my posting asking to take lessons from me. The injustice created attention and gave me replenishment. There is something

In every adversity you face, there is an equivalent benefit

Im trying to contact someone and hope to be an accountability partner to him, he’s in the same spirit I am in. I hope I can reach him, so far not successfully. I nearly completed a dagger today. I dont know if I can sell it, its seriously dangerous, big and heavy and who needs a dagger? This is fine but I should make more useful things, I only have a really limited time until the sale is starting. Sunday.


Drawing

Believe and Succeed

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26.04. 6:56am

Sleeping before 10pm: slept at like 10:30
Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:
Pushups: doing them right now, writing while I rest

how The FUCK do I do the last set.
image
Alright I ll hype myself up and do it

Pushups: :white_check_mark:

M I R A C L E.

10 pushups, already had to pause (not get up, just planking). Braced, braced, braced, another 3. 13. From then on I only made 1 pushup at a time. Bracing, Bracing, Bracing POWERRRRRRR made it back up. Bracing, bracing… fucking 25. Last one felt impossible. In case you ever need to amp yourself up, breathe really deeply and then faster and faster and faster and then GO. Pushing the air out with a lot of pressure while performing the rep is also helping. This plan Im following is designed to reach 100 pushups in 6 weeks but from yesterday to today was a big jump. At week 6 you ll perform like 50 pushups a set, for 4 sets. Unbelievable. But it was possible today. REALLY EASY TO QUIT MIDWAY, like REALLY ENTICING like it was like A REAL POSSIBLILITY, but I didnt quit and it could be achieved. Tomorrow the set will be even more intense I think. For some reason its a called a 6 week program, but each week only contains 3 days. Perhaps the training should be spread out over the week, aka one day rest in between. (I should rest perhaps. I felt a little sore doing it today). I dont care I ll just try it. If I get detrimental results I ll just stop and do it every second day. Right now i need to get food for the musculus maximus you know like some bulking program or something. I ll go to the shop, see you

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Getting up at 6am: :white_check_mark:
Jogging: :white_check_mark:
Pushups: :white_check_mark:
Warm water after waking up: :white_check_mark:

Im sore as fuck, I did the pushups in an easier position to keep the habit up, real training is not useful today. Running was okay, two people greeted me with a smile. Today I want to complete one full knife and forge hooks. I have 7 hours for it, I can do it.

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Bro your muscles need to recover as well in between workouts that’s when they grow, so hitting the same muscle groups everyday with full intensity is not advisable.

And probably that’s why the program you are following is 6 week program

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yep, just some light movement today. If I feel better tomorrow I ll go at it again

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Yes that’s cool, you can also go for some lower body workouts on days when your upper body feels tired because of pushups

perhaps I should even do back exercises :smiley: Maybe a nice counterpart to training the chest
so alternating between back and chest day by day

(skipping legday I know! :frowning: :D)

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Oh yes yes, it is very important to train antagonist muscles for when you hit agonist muscles, upper back for chest, trices for biceps, lower and middle back for core

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Yeah that’s good :sweat_smile:

But what about this :joy:, and core, no issues, if you are going for pushup training you need to focus more on that, once you get good at those you can work on creating a balanced routine for whole body