[21m] NukePizza [Diary] - TURNING MY DREAM INTO REALITY

Here I want to journal about my dream. I want to become a bladesmith and actually survive doing it! I want to find a place in life thats actually me! I hope this thread is allowed in this forum, since it doesnt pertain to masturbation but to getting a grip on my life. I was active on this site in November of last month doing the nofap streaks until I realized keeping a streak keeps me from succeeding with nofap, so Im not streaking, but I hope I can use the power of this platform to unify and empower thinking and goals to achieve what I have to achieve to be me!

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In the past 2 weeks I managed to complete about 3 knives. Thats way too little! I need to find the reason!

The steps to producing it
It has to be cut into shape
It has to be ground to an edge
it has to be polished and sharpened
a handle has to be made and polished too

How can I speed up this process? I need to make a model I can produce quickly and easily! I need to make the same knife many times over until I become very quick at it! I need a buffing wheel to speed up the polishing process! I need to buy adequate steel in an appropriate size!

If I can make 5 knives a week, I can survive. I need to find a way!

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Yeah man that’s dope. This forum is all about self-improvement!!

Dude sameeeeee.

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Which blade would you recommend for a insane warrior

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@a_lone_warrior05 :smiley:

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I bought more steel in a good size! Tomorrow I will polish the knives and send pictures!

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Best of luck dude
May Allah bless you

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thank you so much dude

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Hey bro! So good to see you here again after such a long time. How have you been?
Good to know that you are working towards your goal in life with full power

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Today was a good day. I had horrible nightmares and bad sleep, but its a holiday in my country and I bought all things I need. I bought steel that I will forge Hooks with to sell, Im excited about it and I will send a picture when it is completed!

Im going through withdrawal pangs again, but they ll be over soon and then I can ignore this whole masturbation conundrum. What a distraction! I try not to give it too much attention, I just need to stay away from the brainwashing from other sites that imply that masturbation is useful. F*** it! A waste of time!

I started a business as a tutor for maths and physics and my dream is working on knives and forging in the morning and during the day and tutoring in the evening. Thats my biggest dream

I only need to keep going from here. I ll write a separate goal sheet now where I can organize my plannings so I succeed!

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yeah dude its finally all happening

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I started teaming up with @MyAsceticLife and Im taking up his habits: 6am I woke up, its 7am now. I did some exercising and I ll drink warm water on my empty stomach now, then leave to forge some hooks if possible like promised in the last post.

I rented ads for my tutoring business. Maybe I ll write a second post in the evening to tell you how the day went, I hope I ll have energy and power today and achieve a lot!!! Here is a picture of what the smithy looks like right now:

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16.04. 8:00pm

Hey they are okay, but Im seriously not happy xd
Reasons for bad hook quality:
Firequality: way to little heat
Anvil Quality: Terrible edges
Quality of tongs: they dont fit
Jig: Not working

Considering nearly EVERY factor is terrible, they turned out amazing xd. I ll see what I can do. If I can get better coal, I ll get a better heat and if I can build a good jig, I can circumvent the bad anvil and if I bend the tongs maybe tomorrow, I can get good quality on all metrics! Then I ll make better ones :slight_smile:

The rest of the day:
Waking up early is tough and I felt sick, its very cold this time of year in the morning but warm in the evening, I should dress more appropriately…

STEEL ARRIVED! :smiley: Way too thick! Wrong length! xD What the heck? I ll test out the rest but that was terrible, Im not gonna order from there again xd but they put in a nice poster in the delivery box. Very friendly, but terrible order quality

Carbon steel arrived, also way smaller than expected. I ll make the most of it. The other part was too thick. I hope I ordered a 3rd time so maybe I ll still have a chance to receive a normal package.

Can any of you suggest good habits for the morning or in general? Im trying to connect the “turn off alarm —> instantly get up and go shower”-Habit with my subconscious at the moment.

Buffing wheel arrived with compound, also something to test out tomorrow :slight_smile: We ll see, if there is progress I ll post a picture!

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17.04. 7:32am
I woke up at 6am successfully, my head hurts haha. Yesterday I didnt go and buy good coal, I dont know why. That was a really stupid move, there are only holidays ahead now until tuesday so I wont have any coal until then so no forging. I wonder if there had been a way I could have convinced myself to get coal yesterday.
How would I have been able to get coal? I felt very tired and the way to the store is 2km, I have to carry the 20kg bag back too. How could I have convinced myself…hmm

Maybe I should have listened to a movational video and drawn on a piece of paper all the things I imagine I ll forge, a nice knife or a nice sword and when I would have enough good reasons and good vision I would have gone. I ll try to do that next time

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17.04. 9:12pm

The man Im working for is like 1.95m, really tall and really strong and a grandpa, like the strongest biggest grandpa ever. He gave me the smithy and I help him all day, Im really thankful, I cant believe it is real. We were building a few things, I used an angle grinder with a diamond disc to cut stone and an impact drill to drill holes it it on EASTER SUNDAY ;() Not the most quiet thing to do, also considering the 7th day is the day to rest where noone should do any work etc… …

.

well we got a lot done though. I went hiking and discovered a little mountain. I climbed it. The apex was covered in green soft moss and I fell asleep on it. It was so gosh darn steep getting down was really impossible.
I realize all things are possible now, a smithy is the most valuable thing I can imagine, you can do anything there. When I give the coal on hte fire, I feel like Im adding like some sort of magic ingredient and the glow from yellow hot iron is so gripping I can not look away. Its like youre convincing this dull, unyielding, cold iron thats so damn hard and resisting and suddenly its soft and yielding, gentle, good spirited and open to let you do anything you want to it. It becomes what you envision, then it solidifies to nearly unshakable permanence again. Its a beautiful thing, I am right where I need to be.

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Your writing is so good, reading this I felt like I am watching a movie

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ahhhhhhhhh :smiley: Thank you man!

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18.04. Evening
PEAK unproductive day today. I didnt work because its easter and went back to bed after my alarm went off at 6. I pretty much played skyrim the whole day with bouts of anxiety in between. God darn I messed up today. Pmo urges came back and I believe they came because of the anxiety. I ll go outside now, I repaired my bike.
I was fasting today, Im feeling very easily irritable because of it.
I’m afraid I wont be able to sustain myself but I know I can do it, I have to build a bending jig and then I ll make very good hooks, I have to find out how to cure the metal well so it has a nice finish and then I can make many hooks, hooks sell very well and they are very quick and inexpensive to make. Tomorrow I will get up early again. I have a meeting this evening with an accountability partner I met on nofap, I think his and my goals are completely incompatible but I ll give it a try anyway. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. I ll read some of Napoleon Hills things. If any of you have not done it, it is the single most valuable thing I have ever read pertaining to life’s sucess. Its very useful. Think and grow rich especially. What he says is that whatever you hold persistently in your mind, will become reality. If you hold your vision before you and visualize and identify yourself with it “it will find expression in the real world”. Believe in yourself, people!

EDIT: The meeting with the accountability partner went very well. Im scheduling my whole day now in my calendar and Im jogging in the morning tomorrow. Its very useful to have a companion you meet with every day to unite forces, everyone should look for one

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Yes! It gets embedded in your subconscious due to repetition and your actions automatically start aligning with that :relieved:!

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