Day 4.
Feeling quite good. Just feeling a little emotions today but it’s okay. Also no coffee day 4 - so perhaps even related to that. But I’m proud of myself. I woke up really early, so that’s a good sign my body is in optimal condition now.
Now my goal is to read books again.
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Yes, if you believe in karma, these are related. Fighting one addiction will sow a seed that helps you fight other addictions. Because the seed will grow, when you sow a seed for overcoming a lighter addiction, the seed will grow and become a larger plant and then you can beat a more difficult addiction. Actually I am also limiting myself to drink milk tea and coffee and it really helps with my nofap. You may even deliberately think about transferring the merit of no coffee to nofap, to help the seed grow.
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That’s an interesting perspective, thanks brother!
Also for me, coffee gives me too much nervous energy so to speak. Makes me more impulse and makes my mind have more thoughts. So, I believe it’s better for me to leave it. Today I passed the coffee aisle and didn’t even think about it although I’m feeling a little tired today - so that’s a win in my book 
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Day 5.
It’s not easy. My body is acting in a way that I don’t fully understand. One day I wake up after 6.5 hours on my own and the next I’m sleeping 11 hours. Luckily I have the luxury at the moment to decide when I start with work.
Also I did 18 hours of dry fast.
I’m not feeling as motivated to read and study yet which is a bummer. That was my driving force. But I’m gonna be patient.
Maybe coffee withdrawals as well. Luckily Im not having any other issues with my new no coffee lifestyle.
I think the benefits like better speech and confidence will come in a couple days.
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After 5 days I fell from the wagon sadly.
I don’t know how I will ever overcome this.
On the pc I thought I had a good system but no apparent that 1 software + host file list that is blocked is not enough.
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The only good thing right now is that I have been off coffee for a week
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You and I have both tasted the pain of suffering to climb up again after a long streak. I fell from 250+ days four years ago, and I’ve been struggling since then. It’s a terrible feeling. You feel like something is wrong with you, you find yourself even deeper in the addiction and wondering how you managed to make that streak in the first place. It feels like you’re even more addicted than everyone else, and you feel foolish for falling back into the pits of despair. It’s a feeling that if others were in your position, they wouldn’t have gone backwards and they wouldn’t be in this situation.
But we can break free of that darkness. We aren’t trapped or broken. To pass 200 days clean, we had to have gotten some things correct. That’s more than half a year free. So there are some lessons that we need to learn to get to a life of permanent freedom. Think back to that time, what were you doing differently? What knowledge have you gained since then that you can apply to your journey? What changes can you make that will aid you in succeeding this time? How can you repeat the actions that worked in the past and remove the habits that led to failure?
Never lose hope, brother. You can definitely overcome this. Life is so much better when we’re free. We’re confident, happy people with a great deal of potential, ready to take on the world. We’ll get back there again man. Keep going.
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Thank you brother, for reaching out to me.
I did not know you had a quite similiar story to mine. It’s encouraging to have someone here who has had a similiar experience definitely.
Back then, I had a story that motivated me.
I had failed my first year at college (where I had first time success with 2-3 week streak), much like a couple other people in my class.
I was the only one to go back and start again. I noticed some people had written me off bc I failed the class, so I wanted to prove them wrong aswell to be honest.
Also I had a good role model I looked up to. That gave me a vision.
And finally I had habits like weightlifting that kept my daily life in check. Also here was the social aspect that was a bit helpful aswell.
So it was a mix of 1. Story 2. Vision 3. Habits.
Unfortunately (2) the person I looked up to himself became addicted to some things (not judging him though) so I lost the role model in a way.
Also (3) I noticed that I outgrew the gym culture, atleast here the one where I live. So I lost the key habit that grounded me + also the social aspect. Just being around people a lot helped somewhat, to be part of something I guess.
And when it comes to the (1) story, I have noticed that that story is not helping my health, to be frank with you. It was useful some time back to me. But not now. Unfortunately that’s the reality. Luckily, partly bc I am successful in some ways in my life now.
So essentially I need a new role model and a new story. I have discovered a new vision sort of recently that can serve me.
When it comes to the story, there is some confusion I guess. I don’t know why I didn’t stop the destructive habit these couple years. I don’t know how I could do that to myself.
Also, I saw so much hypocrisy and wrongs lately. I’m taken a back by it. Surprised. I guess I want certainty. Perhaps I find certainty in p. that innocence and goodness is gone from this world 
Now I simply don’t know (with certainty) why I should do it. The recovery I mean.
Sorry brother for this being not as positive. I guess I’m just reflecting deeply.
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2 days completed
I’m proud a little that I’m getting back on track.
Today I had an important meeting and it well. I was so relieved.
I think me exercising in the morning, taking a cold shower, plus healthy nutrition helped to recover a little faster.
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Great! Exercising in the morning and cold shower can definitely help with your journey 
I also need to be determined to get up early and do some exercise before work, and I will start cold shower when it’s summer and when my body becomes stronger. You’re really on track toward wonderful life, stay strong 
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You’re being honest bro, and that’s what matters. Life is not always positive.
It sounds like you’ve outgrown some of the things that worked for you in the past. And that’s normal. As we grow up some of our old interests fall away, and we change our minds about what’s important to us.
There is still innocence in this world. Though things seem very dark and miserable, and every day we worry for the state of humanity, all is not lost. Watch this video and tell me that all innocence and goodness is gone:
One thing that I find certainty in is that PMO has ruined my life. Every time I have gone back to it, it has been the wrong decision, and it has ruined my life. Even when I reduce my usage or look at softcore instead of hardcore, it still ruins my life. And it always will. Maybe there are zero benefits to doing NoPMO. Maybe my life will be exactly the same and I’ll be faced with all the same challenges I’m trying to run away from. But one thing is crystal clear, I will have stopped ruining my life in this one area.
Keep thinking deeply, you’ll find answers as long as you keep looking for them. Stay strong brother.
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That sounds like a good plan brother. I’m realizing even just stretching, especially lower body as we spend more time sitting nowadays, in the morning makes a difference.
And thanks, brother for the encouragement
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Thank you brother, for your message.
You are right, we know for a fact that p. was never our friend. It’s like a fake friend telling us that no one will ever accept/love us like him. But it’s ridiculous. We will move on with God’s help I’m sure. Even though the road is not easy sometimes.
And you are right brother, there is a lot of innocence aswell. Sometimes when I hear that people have used the charity money of hundred thousand dollars, for example. It can get to me. How such people even exist. But then I remember… this means also that there are hundred thousand good people I.e. the people who donated. And that puts me at ease.
I love to watch such heart warming videos bro back in the day I used to watch “faith in humanity restored”.
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Day 4
since yesterday I’m feeling a little off tbh. partly bc of drinking coffee again after 7 days.
but I’m proud of overcoming the first hurdle i.e. 3 days
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@Forerunner does such a great job at laying it to us.
The one golden rule that we should always go back to: does PMO add to our life or take away from it?
If you stop and think OBJECTIVELY: it has never ever ever done anything beneficial for your life. Period. Take heart in the certainty of that.
If part of you is resisting that above FACT, it’s your brainwashing, your little monster giving you lies, coaxing you to ride that dopamine slide that only leads you deeper down the darkness. Don’t listen to it.
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This is the truth. I see you’ve read EasyPeasy 
Keep going brother, well done.
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To be honest brothers, last night I fell off the wagon. After 4 days.
I was starting to feel better. I don’t know why I did it. It was on reddit, something I stumbled upon. I closed the tab and went to the other room, but fell for it still. My brain was telling me it’s your last chance to watch p. before you fully commit to a sober life.
I blocked reddit now, and just whitelisted a couple tech subs.
Right now I came home from hiking. I just wanted to sort out my thoughts. I’m proud of myself for doing that, even though I had some knee pain from doing squats a few days ago. It was beneficial, I feel better now.
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This EXACT lie has gotten me hundreds and hundreds of times. It is the main reason I have spent so long in addiction.
I always wanted to quit permanently. For more than half of my life, I’ve been trying to quit this. But a voice says to me; Well, since you’re quitting forever, you gotta at least enjoy yourself first! I can’t leave without saying goodbye! I can’t even count how often I’ve listened to that stupid excuse. It’s over a thousand times.
Let me tell you bro, there will always be a voice calling us back to pornography. That voice has been there since we were young, whispering to us, ‘That was SOOOOOOO fun, let’s do it again!’ We have to stop listening to it and move on with our lives.
By God’s Grace, I’ll be 30 this year. If I had the chance to go back 10 years and quit PMO, I would do it in an instant. The thousands of pornographic videos and clips I’ve watched in the last decade, the comics, the movies, the games, the threads on Twitter and Reddit, the Instagram models and TikTok dancers - all the PMO sessions over the last decade have immeasurably ruined my life. I don’t want to see anything like that happen to you.
Committing to a life of abstinence will always be the best decision. No matter what.
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I cannot agree more. Our brain could use every single means to persuade or deceive us to get back to addiction. We must tell ourselves that this addiction has ruined our life for so long, it’s a prison, the only way to get back our lives is to get out of this prison.
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I understand brother, thanks for the honestly and for sharing. And that’s so true, in my case aswell.
Sorry for late reply
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