Make my bed Deep work (2 hour) Meditation (30 mins) Meditation on Vajrasana after lunch Pray in the evening No TV No phone Evening Meditation (10 mins) Plan for tomorrow Sleep at or before 10
Today’s routine was a little fucked up. But today I watched the 1965, 7 hour, Russian classic movie WAR AND PEACE by Sergie Bonderchuk. One of the greatest movie I have ever seen in my life. In the third part there is a war scene (Battle of Bordeno) of almost 40 mins which took 2 and half years to shoot. Thousands and lakhs of soldiers had been used hundreds of tankers, thousands of horses, bombs, ammunition…
The director had 2 heart attacks while shooting this scene and went into dead- state for 4-5 minutes each time. Whenever he used to get back consciousness he will talk about completing this movie. Hundreds of horses died while shooting this scene, due to financial shortage Russian government gave the money to continue shooting; the background story behind this movie is too much.
But the way the movie is narrated, solid characterisation, screenplay everything is near perfect. This is human achievement and effort at its peak. Anything higher than this in movies; I haven’t seen anywhere, in any other movies. Hey brother @anon65589122, you should watch this movie bro. Its worth it; 100%
This movie taught me the power of human will and strength. It taught me that with real commitment anything is possible for human beings. It showed me that human effort and strength is limitless to the point that he can even reach a god-like state in his art or field of work if he really put his mind into it. I will die with 100% happiness when I also make a movie like this. Every single second Iam moving into that goal. I can do anything, even kill someone to create something like this. I will! I will!
Man what a coincidence. Few days back I was browsing through the movies and I found the same movie. Immediately checked it’s reviews and story by Leo Tolstoy I thought I would watch it. Now I also got the recommendation. Sure bro. Writers like Leo Tolstoy and
Fyodor Dostoevsky are in different league. Their works are very hard to put in movies.
There are also few movies based on Jane Austin novels you should also check out sometimes. Especially Sense and Sensibility.
Reading currently Crime and Punishment. Each page create different kind of sensations in the mind. I can feel the horrors and fears of the characters I am reading.
Discipline is the only shit. Discipline is the only shit. All these years of trying to find out the right way of doing it wasted. Tagore I was so stupid my man. Now I have robbed myself of my self discipline and I have to build it up all over again. Discipline is the only shit man. Fuck all these follow your passion, have fun bullshit. It’s ok to relapse mindset is false and has fucked me in the ■■■.
I want to cultivate self discipline again. And this is my only chance. I am unable to and it is difficult now. But I will keep on trying.
Relapsed many times in the last few days. Life feels like spiralling downwards into hell
But guess what! The war is not over. In September my 21st b’day will arrive and I must gift myself a good streak.
Done with this talking and shit. Let’s walk the talk now. Tomorrow onwards I will update this diary daily. Yes, without SELF DISCIPLINE nothing great in life can be achieved bro @TheFinalFrontier . We got this! This times, lets do it together
This is for you bro
Tell me man. For once, is this a life long struggle ?
Because I am addicted to the point that nothing else feels as good. Fapping is the only thing that can now satisfy my itch. Even real women are not attractive anymore. Because they are not perfect like those pictures and nude models. I go for a week or two, maybe 20 days even here and there and then I am back to multiple relapses. Man, is this life ? Are we going to fight till we die ? Is this war man ? Tell me that this will get easy one day. Tell me !!!
Bro you are stronger than this addiction. I know that and I believe in you. You are the most disciplined guy here if you set your mind to it, everyone here admires you. Don’t let this hell hole ruin you. We can do this together .
No its not bro. You heard this wonderful quote “99% a bitch and 100% a breeze”. We have to commit 100% to succeed in this Journey bro. I joined this forum in last May and in this 14 months period I have had multiple 100+ streaks, one 90+ streak, one 70+ streaks etc. Nothing will become easy; as @The_integrous_one said we will get stronger.
Right now, I don’t have any words to give you but to reiterate the fact that it is totally possible to leave this addiction for good. It will always be around.
View it like this; there is a deamon within you. This deamon is too powerful; when its destructive power awakens it will break you up and throw you down to hell but this same deamon can also be tamed as power for greatness. Our success lies in accepting its presence, acknowledging it, being mindful about it and moving forward in life.
We have to put in real work. Through real discipline, burning desire for our goal in life we can tame this same deamon as our alley for greatness.
This will all change bro. Usually first 30 days are the hardest. Complete that first hurdles. Everything will come back to normal. Remember neuroplasticity, remember subconscious reprogramming; as you know our brain is like gelly. It is changing every instant. Look at the brighter side, be compassionate to yourself, be disciplined. Stop talking. Walk the talk. I also highly recommend you to start yoga as well. It is the greatest gift I have given to myself till now.
Hey brother, these words mean a lot. I don’t have words to express my gratitude but to tell you that I will always be with you as well. Together we will succeed. You are a committed, sincere man as well. We got this
Make my bed Deep work (1 hour) Journaling Sookshma Vyayam asanas- Sarvangasan, matsyasan, sasangasan, markatasan, naukasan, pavan-muktasan, shavasan Gayatri mantra chanting Pranayam- bhastrika, Kapalbanti Jalandhar bandha Meditation (20 mins) Cold shower at 7 Meditation on Vajrasana after lunch Reading (Hatha Yoga Pradipika) No phone No TV No junk food Evening Meditation (10 mins) Plan for tomorrow Sleep at/before 11
Work: 9 hrs
Mindful eating + mitahara Pray in the evening Wake up at 5 (6 am)
Make my bed Sookshma Vyayam, Soorya namaskar asanas- Sarvangasan, matsyasan, pavan-muktasan, markatasan, naukasan, badrasan Gayatri mantra chanting Pranayam- bhastrika, Kapalbanti, bhramri Jalandhar bandha (3) Meditation (15 mins) Gratitude journal Meditation on Vajrasana after lunch Reading (Hatha Yoga Pradipika) Pray in the evening No TV No phone No junk food Mindfully eat atleast 1 food Evening Meditation (10 mins) Plan for tomorrow Sleep at before 10
Make my bed Soorya namaskar (3) asanas- Sarvangasan, markatasan, naukasan, pavan-muktasan, shavasan Gayatri mantra Pranayam- bhastrika, Kapalbanti, bhramri Jalandhar bandha (3) Meditation (mind 15 mins) Gratitude journal Cold shower at 7 Meditation on Vajrasana after lunch Reading (Power over p*) Pray in the evening No TV No phone No junk food Mindfully eat (atleast 1 food) Evening Meditation (10 mins) Plan for tomorrow Sleep at before 10
Make my bed Sookshma Vyayam Soorya namaskar (3) asanas- sarvangasan, matsyasan, pavan-muktasan vajrasan, shavasan Positive Affirmations Pranayam- bhastrika, Kapalbanti, bhramri Trataka Jalandhar bandha (3) Meditation (20 mins) Gratitude journal Cold shower at 7 Meditation on Vajrasana after lunch Reading (Power over p*) Pray in the evening No TV No phone No junk food Evening Meditation (10 mins) Plan for tomorrow Sleep at before 10
Work: 6 hrs (@_TIGER bro, for the first 7 days, I will try to keep the work hours around 6; then will increase and we will start our battle)
Sorry for writing on your diary. I dont know what to do. I am feeling overwhelmed. I fucked my whole life. How long do I have to fight this ? I cannot stay at home and work because of this shit.
Make my bed
Soorya namaskar (5)
, make yourself proud.
Make my bed
Mindful eating + mitahara
