Never really thought of starting a diary but it might be good to write my thoughts down every now and then so I’ll give it a go. I’m a 20 y/o male from The Netherlands trying to fix this destructive habit. I’ve been on and off nofap during the last few years but now I’m really determined to make it work. Used to watch porn twice a day, maybe even more during stressful periods. But I’ve been clean for quite some while now, so I’m making progress!
I’m starting to notice that I don’t see women as sexual objects like I used to see them when I PMO’d a lot. I’m not sure whether this is a flatline or whether my view on women is legitimately changing. Obviously I’m hoping it’s the latter . Also have been meditating every day for a week now, that’s a PR too. Meditating itself hasn’t been going too well though, I find it hard to sit comfortable for even a short period of time (10 minutes) and my back starts to slouch and hurt very quickly. Have to read more upon this and possibly buy a meditation cushion. Even when I find myself being comfortable, it’s hard to concentrate on my breath and to quietly observe my thoughts without judging them.
I also should start going to the gym more often with a detailed plan, but I’m working on this. And I still watch too much youtube: every time I feel uncomfortable during studying I binge watch them… But I’m confident I can cut down on my youtube time severely. Maybe I should keep track of my youtube time, awareness is a good first step.