When I reach 2 days, I immediately go to porn.
How do i rewire when I keep repeating the same mistake?
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It happened due to some triggering thing start 7 days are hard then you can get on track so remove every triggering factors change the atmosphere this start time is hard dont repeat same mistake of trigger busy yourself so much so that first 7 days passed ur brain gets rewired âŚeven things are not interesting be idle go outside play talk whatever once that triggering loop of starting days are over you will be on track âŚDo it now
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Play? Dude im 32. I donât play.
I have no activities. Just responsibilities.
Im a bit confused.
So, i need to stay busy with something.
The problem is finding something to do.
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You know what else is a problem? Pornography. Which is the bigger problem? Pornography. I think you can handle going outside to go for a drive or something. Your dad doesnât need you all the time. So unless he genuinely needs you, you show him whoâs boss and you walk right out. If he canât forgive you then heâs a bad father. And if he is then you talk to him about it. Donât be a slave because youâre nice. Try the book âNo More Mr. Nice Guyâ is the name I believe. I think thatâs basically what itâs about. Thinking that youâll be happy if youâre always helping others, but in reality youâre not. Someone fact check me on that. I havenât read the book.
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The idea that it only takes 7 days to ârewireâ your brain is patently untrue. Pornography is not only an addiction, it is also a habit. Depending on the person, breaking a habit or addiction can take anywhere from 3 weeks to almost a year. Thatâs why itâs better to take this battle day by day, my friend. If you find something is repeatedly blocking your path, locate the issue, rectify it, and move on to the next problem. Bit by bit, you will move forward, I can promise you that.
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He thinks he does. He says he does.
You need a strong reason why you shouldnât relapse. Read it again.
Then you tell him you are your own man and you walk out. You can still honor your father, but not this way. Look man, youâve been on this forum for a while. Youâre not making any progress because you arenât doing anything different. If you genuinely want something to change then youâve gotta make some changes. If you donât then Iâll look forward to more posts that include the following: Girlfriend, controlling dad, every 2 days, and I relapsed. Because thatâs been about all youâve been posting for the past year man. I havenât seen like one post that said something like âI walked out on my dad and I went on a date with a girlâ. And donât you fricking dare say that girls arenât interested in you. You donât know that because you arenât trying to find someone. Jeez Chris, why are you being so harsh? Because every single post is the same, and we are all trying our best to support you and lift you up, but we canât make you do anything. You are a real man with a real life, and weâre a bunch of internet buddies. We can only do so much through the screen. So youâve GOT to do something for yourself! And if you donât then I donât want to hear another peep about your current problems, because we already know what they are. Because if theyâre still happening you know exactly why. Because you arenât doing something. Thatâs kind of a lot, and a bit harsh but it needed to be said.
GOD BLESS!
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Iâm sorry.
I guess I dont ever have to post again.
My repetition has been annoying to you all and i apologize.
I only have 1 goal right now and that is to pay off my college debt. It was 52,000 in April I knocked it down to 46,000. My goal is to eliminate it in 2 years.
Involving my life, my job is the best i ever had.
There arenât really any apartments closer to my job so I have to remain at home.
My entire life and life yet to come, i am never aloud to leave. Thats wht I complain.
Clearly no one will understand my situation because no one ever in the history of the human race knows what im going thru.
That is all.
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Wow. Ok. How does no one understand what you are going through? You want your father to stop controlling your life right? Weâve given advice to you. Talk to him, walk out, be real with him. All good advice. Whatâs still the issue?
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My friend, may I suggest something?!
Open up to your father, I suppose he love you and knows you more than any of us. Open up to your father, consult him, letâs see how this approach will go.
Iâm not saying fight him, but open up to him as a friend. Everything will be alright man
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Hey man, thatâs totally your choice if youâre going to do that, but then youâre shutting down support and thatâs on you.
Ultimately, thatâs all that this website is, support. Youâre right, we donât know what youâre going through. Nobody truly knows what anyone is going through, because everyone has their own battles. We canât give you any real advice because we donât know the whole situation. Those decisions are for you alone to make. What we can do, and what we will do for you, is be here to cheer you on every step of the way, and provide companionship and sympathy in your times of need. But thatâs all we can do. We canât fix your problems, but you can. We know you can do it, we believe in you. If itâs any consolation, I want you to stay because I think at the very least we can help you by being by your side through this. I hope your situation becomes better, I really do.
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This conversation you advise is scary for me. Because the answers i fear are what he will give.
I have had similar conversations and my Dad laughed at me and made faces.
I know it doesnât make sense, but if my life hasnât changed yet then God must intend it to be this way.
And if so, then i just wait to ask Him in person when I die and stand before Him at Heavens Gate.
Oh, and dont be sorry. I have been failing myself and I have never done something to improve myself emotionally. I always believed that when I do or learn something new that someone else has to guide me and help me. Take me by the hand and teach me. I am not used to doing new things on my own.
@Kalechips, Christian Man made a point that I havenât shown change yet. He is right. He is a teenager and he is my longest friend on here.
Iâm about twice his age and because I am 32, i feel that I am unworthy because i should have found that love of my life by now, but in my 20s and in my teens I didnât know that finding a mate was am emotional priority. Now 100 percent of women are taken and its too late for me. Thats why I feel unworthy.
Its okay to play
Responsibilities are never ending
But life is to enjoy with our loved ones
Just sit and play ludo on board with family
Go for a movie once a month
Dont make a mistake of enjoying life due to responsibilities
Responsibilities are never ending
I wm such a person who used to relapse every 3rd day
But in last few months i have done many streaks of 8+ days
Sometimes even 14 days
Now i feel ill just continue forever it feels great
So if i can do
Any 1 can do
Coz im such a person
Who got addicted to porn and mastrubation
Then got addicted to games , webseries , anime and youtube
I didnt have control on any of these things
Slowly im trying and it feels great
And trust me all these longest journey i didnt use any blocker
This is worth it
Push urself harder
Also check out "shwetab gangwar - nice guy " on youtube it may help u
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Bro its difficult to speak tp dad
I get it
But no matter what
If u want a change in ur life
U have to tell
Okay so here is my stuff
I wanted to join a library in nov last year
I couldnt tell my dad coz money matters he will say no or just screw me or some other stuffs
So i took money from bro and joined and said at home ki its public library which is free
Later on one of my friends revealed this to his mom and then it reached my home
So in the end i had to confront it
And i passed my exam after that
This time i again needed to join
And i said him upfront as i knew im doing right thing
Also i have said them in advance
If we are not planning to shift then ill stay in pg for next 3 years as i need to focus on my career
They have said no presently but im gonna make them agree
Not by blackmailing but forsure ill do it
Either u speak to ur dad now or later its ur choice
But either of the times u will have to face this fear
Why not do it early so that u can save precious years which are ahead of u
Stay strong
Dont lose hope
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Because change will not happen regardless.
My dude, my main man, my homeslice, this is only true if you believe it to be. I donât know where you live, or how big the dating pool is, but there is definitely someone out there for you. You canât find them if youâre stuck at home.
Once again, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thereâs a quote that goes âwhether you think you can, or think you canât, youâre right.â Not sure who said it, but I think itâs more true than even they knew. What you think is not reality, what happens is. If you do not take action because you are afraid of a possible result, you allow, even force that unwanted outcome to happen. Like I said, we can only give you advice, but I strongly urge you to evaluate how you look at life because you will not be able to move forward if you are content with being doomed.
Iâm not a christian myself, though I was, but even I know that this outlook is false. God does not change your life for you. God gives you the tools, the power, the support and the courage to fight your battles, but he does not fight them for you. Struggle is how you grow close to God. Itâs dangerous to chalk everything up to, âOh, God must want this to happen so whatever.â You have no way of knowing what God wants or has planned for you, but you certainly wonât find out by sitting idle, content with life passing you by.
I hope this, for lack of a better term, lights a fire under your â â â or even makes you angry. Indignance can be a great motivator. But I have nothing more to say. I will still be here to support you, and I hope you take the initiative to pull yourself up and keep going.
Stay strong, friend.
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U wont know unless u try ur best
Come on bro
When we know we arent wrong we need to stand up for ourself
Though it may be painful initially for parents too
But if u make use of that opportunity and achieve ur goals
No one will be as happy as parents would be
There is still hope
So what if u have turned 32
There are people who marry at 40 + have children in their 40s
Its okay
But losing hope is not worth it