[19 M] Jump into the Abyss - LordEntz Diary

Most people live with their minds focused on the future. If you live dreaming about the future, you’re guaranteed not to have that dream fulfilled, because the present is what makes the future.

You need to take action. You need to face the terrifying truth that Death will come for you and everyone you love, and the only defense against Death is acceptance. Acceptance can only be achieved by living a life aligned with your true desires, the ones that come from your soul.

But here’s the thing: Change is always scary, just as much as it is necessary.

When you first encounter this deep and scary-looking Abyss that is Change, you start to question your beliefs. Is it really worth the pain?, you may ask yourself. The only way to find the Answer, is to take a leap of faith.

You must stare into the Abyss and realize that it represents Death. It represents a change so brutal and significant, that a part of you MUST die.

Your leap of faith is Acceptance.
The Abyss is both Change and Death.
You’re sacrificing your current self, for the creation of a better self, one aligned with your soul’s intentions and desires, so that when True Death comes, you’ll be prepared.

Jump into the Abyss - Learn how to fly


Im currently on day 7, a few hours to go to reach day 8.

I dont think counting the days matters that much, I believe that progress is measured by your actions. One week of NF filled with actions centered around your goal of self-death/self-creation is worth infinitely more than one month of NF achieved by a mix of luck and constant figthing against urges.

It has been hard this last three days, because I have the house all for myself. So far, I had one moment where I started M’ing, but I quickly took control of the situation and went for a walk.

I’m happy and grateful for jumping into the Abyss. It’s been 7 days, and I feel that soon I’ll be able to fly.


9 Days

Today I woke up with my throat hurting like hell. I had an awful night of sleep. It was 8°C outside. Despite all that, I had a truly inspiring day. I was social, determined and managed to resist the constant tiredness I felt.

I gave my bus seat to a woman who clearly needed it more. I participated in a meeting at work. I was outgoing in the german class Im taking.

I am thankful for taking this path, even if things get really hard sometimes. I know it is for a good reason. Breaking free from PMO is a rite of passage every man must go through.


10 days.

I felt really good today. There were moments I felt sad or extremely tired, but I quickly managed to stabilize when that happened. I worked a lot today, which was tiring but also significant. I had lunch with friends.

Im thankfull for every thing that’s happening to me. I will keep going on this adventure.


11 days.

Yesterday was hard. Really stronge urges. Imagery was rushing inside my head, memories of pictures I’d seen. It was by far the most challenging day so far, because I was exhausted and lonely. But I stood strong.

I’m proud of myself.


12 days.

Another good day. I worked a lot! Didnt go to the gym but that’s fine, I’m progressing little by little. Had a few difficult moments when I felt urges but I was able to relax and obtain control again.

Grateful for another day. I’ll keep going.


13 days.

Not much to report today. No strong urges. Worked a lot and went to the gym. I got to be careful during this weekend cause I usually relapse on saturdays/sundays. Not this time, tho.

Lets keep moving!


Oh boy. Day 0.

I took some bad decisions today. Ended up relapsing. I recorded the whole thing (that’s what made me horny in the first place), which is obviously a trigger for me. I was doing something that naturally makes me excited (sunbathing). So I decided to record it. That’s when things went super wrong and I ended up MOing.

What I can learn from this situation is that: no matter how good your recovery is going, you need to be 100% alert and AVOID doing things that may lead to a downward spiral (in my case, sunbathing). This definitely wasn’t worth it and I let myself be controlled by my lizard brain. Next time I’ll be prepared!

I dont think I lost all progress I made so far, I might have even gained some, since this showed me it’s not worth it, and teached me useful lessons. But anyway, back to day 0.


I am not a friend of avoiding…sunbathing is a nice thing to do. If you keep running away from everything, you are still controlled by your dick and flinch. Instead, enhance your will power and dominance.


Yes, I think you’re right. I’ll do my best to use my rationality if this happens again. Thank you for your reply

Day 1.

Its always hard to relapse only once, but I managed to keep strong. This week will be extremely stressful. I need to be 100% alert, or else I’ll end up trying to relax by M’ing.

I feel good and hopeful! I know that if I can succeed during this week, I can face anything. I want to prove to myself that I AM STRONG.

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2 days.

I had an awesome day of work and study. I feel good. I want to make it to 2020 with a 90-day streak!


I forgot to check-in yesterday, but Im still going!

Currently on day 4. I am 100% exhausted, and that means today was a good day. I felt sad today because I was lonely. But I managed to talk to my “Emotional Brain” and convince it that the right acrion to take was not MO, but rather to keep on going with ny reboot process, because only then I’ll be able to have meaningful relationships :slight_smile:

Hey! Im on day 6 now. Not much is happening, I was able to shut down all urges I had so far. I’ve been working and studying like crazy, but it’s paying off. I feel proud of myself for what I’m doing. This is something I want for my new-self.

Lets keep moving boys! 2020 is waiting for us.