[18M] Luffy's Diary

Hey!
I am currently 18 years old and am currently preparing for JEE advanced(an entrance exam) it is on 3rd July that is 117 days are left.
I have been trying nofap from 2019.My highest streak is 70 days.My last streak was of 24 days after which I relapsed continuously for a week. It was due to stress and anxiousness of results of JEE mains. Mostly all my relapses till now have been triggered due to stress I have to work on that.
With the results declared I hope for a new start and hope to get rid of this addiction.

Sharing code-lgrc6e

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Man that’s a good streak, it means you have all the necessary knowledge to break this addiction. You took the right step by starting this diary regular journalling helps a lot.

Don’t worry bro, you are a hard worker, trust your efforts and stay as consistent as possible, you will get there. :muscle::+1:

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Thnx @Samaranjay !
I will try my best!

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I know you will :muscle::muscle::muscle::fire:.

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9th March 2021

Today I woke up at 7:00.I was woken up by my dad he was getting calls from his colleagues congratulating him for my result and he was surprised. Yesterday I just told my parents my percentile and they asked me how was it and i just told them I could have done better.
In today’s newspaper they saw my name were quite startled.I was in top-3 of state😂.They didn’t expect that after my yesterday’s reaction.After that congratulations messages poured in from my friends.
Then there was celebration in one of my Coaching where I met my friends after a long time(We live far away). Took photos and there were some interviews for marketing purposes :man_facepalming:t2:. Man! Talking to a camera is difficult AF! After that I came home and guess what another call from my other coaching for celebration all that photos and cakes once again. Man I am not comfortable around cameras!
After that one of my teacher rubbed some cake on my face😑…
I came home and slept for a while (I was very tired) and then studied for the rest of the time. It was a good day overall…

But the best thing was my when my day said he was proud of me…
That’s it for today!

Days left for advanced-116
Purpose-To become the best version of my self!

Sayonara!

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Damn bro :exploding_head:, I knew you would have done great but I wasn’t expecting this after your yesterday’s post :joy:, how much percentile have you gotten actually?

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Congrats bro :tada:…that is really a big deal :sweat_smile::fire::fire:
#Pawri

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You did well MUGIWARA :wink::+1:

Time to GEAR UP :triumph::grin::fire:

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I got 99.92…

Thank you! @NeverGiveup420 @kanu @Samaranjay

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Wow congrats bro, study harder and come out with flying colors in JEE advanced too.

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10 March 2021

Woke up at 8 had some breakfast and then studied for 3 hrs and then rested for a while… Then made some notes of my lectures then got to know that today is the last date for our maths project sumbition made our but we were unable to complete so yeah we will be submitting our project late…
Had lunch got back to study and studied for another 2 and half hours or so… Then watched latest episodes of one piece and jujutsu kaisen and went back to study… Had dinner then had a physics class at night…
Now just the class ended and am damn tired so off to sleep!

Days left for advanced-115
Purpose-To become the best version of myself so I have no regrets.

Sayonara!

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11 March 2021

Woke up at 8 and had breakfast then sat down for 3hr study session… Then watched pokemon for an hour then had lunch and went to my coaching for classes… Came home at 6:30 and admit cards were released for next jee… I got a center that is an hour and half from my home am cursing my luck that too in morning shift… Then watched some podcast and had a nap… Woke up had dinner and then studied for rest of the time… Now off to sleep!

Days left for jee advanced-114
Purpose-To become best version of myself so I have no regrets

Sayonara!

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12 March 2021

I relapsed yesterday night and the whole day was shit… Tried to study but was feeling depressed whole day.Like a good for nothing.Could only manage 2 hrs of study.Binge watched 45 episodes of pokemon that’s 45*20=900 minutes that is 15 hrs :sweat_smile:… That’s why I don’t start watching any new series or anime…The only highlight of the day could be I completed the season of pokemon​:joy: and this was the last new anime I watched till advanced…
I am going to pull an all nighter to cover what I lost today and also fix my sleep cycle…

Days left for jee advances:113

Sayonara!

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13th March 2021

I planned to pull a all nighter but could only study from 1:30-5:00 with a half an hour break in between… My efficiency dropped exponentially with time…So i slept for 5 hours and then had break fast and went back to study for a 3 hr session then watched some YouTube for half an hour after that another session of an hour and half then had lunch and then I watched the latest episode of young Sheldon and then studied for a while then had dinner after that I just revised my notes and now am off to sleep!

Days left for jee advanced:112

Sayonara!

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14th March 2021

Woke up at 9 today then had breakfast. After that I sat for for my study session… I took a break after that and watched some YouTube and then had a class which was rescheduled and I ended up procastinating as I didn’t plan what to study… Then watched some lectures made some notes and after that my dad turned on the television and I wasted about an hour watching today’s match… Then some relatives came and I just sneaked upstairs in the name of study… I had another class which was again rescheduled but this time I made good use of time and revised inorganic… Man that subject if u don’t revise regularly u r doomed and now am off to sleep!

Days left for jee advanced:111

Sayonara!

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15th March 2021

I relapsed again…

I woke up at 6 in the morning and studied for 2 hrs then had breakfast and then gave a mock but between the mock my head started aching badly. So I decided to quit the mock and take a break.I decided to watch the new episode of jujustu kaisen and one piece but guess what it was break week for one piece and I was quite disappointed…
After that I went back to study but I don’t know but my brain got on auto pilot and I relapsed and started to feel like shit again… Am caught in chaser again…
Wasted whole day on YouTube then I fell asleep while watching it…
After waking up studied for two hours and then have dinner and then just wasted time again on YouTube…

A very bad day…

Days left for jee advanced:110

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My thoughts after relapse…
I always feel depressed after relapse I don’t know why but I feel like a relapse just intensifies the negative feelings inside you…
After relapse I felt like worthless and my life has no purpose…
Actually I always have a feeling like what’s the purpose of living we all are just going to die and how does anything matter and who cares…
This type of thought process intensified after the lockdown… I just got to introspect more and I don’t know if I am doing anything right…
The whole day on YouTube I spent watching videos on purpose and meaning of life … I know that’s stupid of me😂

I now just think this the side effects of relapse and I am Overthinking… I hope I will better after a day or two…

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Bro I would suggest to find time for meditation in between your breaks or even exercising from time to time, I know you can’t exercise regularly because of studies but find time as often as possible also be regular with meditation 5-10 min a day in not a big deal.

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That’s pretty normal, I also do this many times :joy:.
I think the purpose of life is striving to find that purpose :joy:.

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Yeah maybe I also motivate myself by saying that but in some moments I just feel like am just lying to myself…
Then at last I say to myself no one knows anything so u r doing good :joy:

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