[18 M] Eden's Diary: Road to Eden Garden

Diary
21

March 18, 2024

Starting to be overwhelmed again with dopamine from YouTube. I think I need to do something as a solution. I think I’ll get bored too. For songs, I still give space at certain times because in certain conditions it can also be part of poetry. Well indeed at this time everything is not too optimal. No problem there is still tomorrow. The current target is not to be lazy in the morning.

  1. Sensation: Flatline
  2. Morning and evening dhikr: Morning
  3. Qur’an: 10 sheets
  4. Tahfidz: Murajaah
  5. Book: No
  6. Poetry: No
  7. Productive: Lack
  8. Exercise: No
1 Like
22

March 19, 2024

And Lord, say in worship to God that make that door forever stuck so that no more human children will be trapped in it.

Today was very interesting. Being able to meet people who can remain patient in the face of flooding. Complaining is not a sign of giving up, it’s just a natural expression of worry.
Unfortunately there hasn’t been much progress in productivity these days. Similarly, only one task was completed, imagine that. But now it seems like it’s time to declare that our biggest boss is midterms, and the mini-bosses are exercises, infographics, and assignments. May the path be blessed by God. May his steps be strengthened. And Lord, it’s not about anything, it’s about something that needs to get done, and You know it.

  1. Sensation: Motivated
  2. Morning and evening dhikr: Morning
  3. Qur’an: 2 sheets
  4. Tahfidz: Murajaah
  5. Book: Yes
  6. Poetry: Happy
  7. Productive: Fair
  8. Exercise: No
1 Like
23

21 March 2024

Sleep in the struggle, die in the blood of the struggle.

I messed up today. Relapsed. I don’t know why. I think the main cause is due to unreleased dopamine and blind laziness. Yes, I should have kept myself busy in the midst of so many bosses to deal with. I am currently trying to release it again. Diverting the dopamine release to the right game. I think I’m done here. It’s too late. Goodbye, hope you can bounce back, repeat again.

  1. Sensation: Relapse
  2. Morning and evening dhikr: Morning
  3. Qur’an: 2 sheets
  4. Tahfidz: No
  5. Book: No
  6. Poetry: No
  7. Productive: Fair
24

Never lose hope brother, rise up again.

2 Likes
25

thanks brother, unfortunately, i relapse again today, hufttt. Now, the purpose of my life just to stop this PMO.

26

21 March 2024 late

There is no one to trust. Just you. Other humans are individuals in their own right.

It was fun, the adrenaline rush was the key. I felt like I was one of the few students in the movement who carried out propaganda even though it didn’t happen. It was very stressful. I’ve come to think that the key to all this might not be calmness, but arrogance. by arrogance I mean challenging adrenaline. That seems to have to be fuelled in these four years.

  1. Sensation: Motivated
  2. Morning and evening dhikr: Morning
  3. Qur’an: 0 sheets
  4. Tahfidz: No
  5. Book: No
  6. Poetry: No
  7. Productive: Good
  8. Exercise: No
27

22 March 2024

I want to die young in the most heroic way.

I told you, ah I don’t know. It can’t be done. It’s impossible for someone to be conscious all the time, it’s impossible. Hopefully I’ll find the key soon.

  1. Sensation: Relapse
  2. Morning and evening dhikr: Morning
  3. Qur’an: 2 sheets
  4. Tahfidz: No
  5. Book: No
  6. Poetry: No
  7. Productive: No
  8. Exercise: No
28

It’s highly possible, brother. There are few things in the life of an addict that he is more conscious of than his drug of choice. We can always be aware of any thoughts that lead us in the direction of relapsing, and cut them off at the root before they grow.

Never lose hope.

1 Like
30

I sometimes think that if my conscious self was always awake maybe there would never be a relapse. But that’s scientifically impossible. Humans will have an automatic period in every activity.

1 Like
31

Due to the impact that addiction has on the psyche, conscious awareness always precedes the automatic response.

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1 Like
32

I hope, I can get to that space when I urge it.

1 Like
33

Garis Besar Haluan Diri

Dalam perjalanan ini, selama beberapa hari kehilangan arah. Saya putuskan membuat sebuah garis besar yang terstruktur dan sistematis mengenai garis arah akan ditempuh selama waktu yang ditentukan. Berikut rumusannya:

DE FAcTO

Democratia

“The good of man must be the end of the science of politics.” —Aristotle

Democratia. Lebih tepatnya, mini demokrasi. Pergulatan demokrasi awal antar kepentingan. Menjunjung kesejahteraan tanpa pamrih.

  1. Visi: Menciptakan lingkungan demokrasi yang sebenar-benarnya (Great Place To Work)

  2. Misi: (mendatang)

  3. Program:

    • Nama: Kesma BEM Undip
      Deskripsi: Menjalankan pelayanan untuk kesejahteraan.
      Tujuan LR: Lebih tinggi dari Staff Ahli. (2026)
      Tujuan SR: Menjalankan semua proker dengan sebaik-baiknya tanpa menggagas. (2024)
      Rancangan: Jika ada kerjaan, langsung dikerjakan. Jika butuh konfirmasi, langsung konfirmasi.
    • Nama: Tjokro Dormitory
      Deskripsi: Pembentukan pemimpin masa depan.
      Tujuan LR: Semua berjalan semau beliau. (2027)
      Tujuan SR: Berjalannya program TPQ dan Rumbel. (2024)
      Rancangan: Pembagian tugas TPQ dan rapat Rumbel (April)
    • Nama: KSEI
      Deskripsi: Mencoba Ekonomi Islam
      Tujuan LR: Semua berjalan lancar. (2024)
      Tujuan SR: Berjalannya program yang ditugaskan (2024)
      Rancangan: Qukis Senin, 25 Maret 2024.

Fantasia

“Movies touch our hearts and awaken our vision, and change the way we see things. They take us to other places, they open doors and minds.” —Martin Scorsese

Tak bolehkah manusia duduk sejenak di dunianya? Di alamnya? Sekali saja ia mesti mencoba Fantasia.

  1. Visi: Menjaga dopamine dan mood di posisi yang pas.
  2. Misi: (mendatang)
  3. Program:

    • Nama: Genshin Impact
      Deskripsi: Game adalah salah satu alam artificial.
      Tujuan LR: Mendapatkan karakter B5 (Neuvillette, Alhaitham, Zhongli, Hu Tao, Furina, Raiden, Nahida) (2024)
      Tujuan SR: Mengumpulkan Primogems (April)
      Rancangan: Sehari minimal 60 Primo dengan dilakukan pukul 11 atau 12 malam.

    • Nama: Novel
      Deskripsi: Fantasi tercipta dari akal sendiri.
      Tujuan LR: Melepaskan ikatan dari video dan game. (2024)
      Tujuan SR: Membangkitkan vision. (Mei)
      Rancangan: Membeli novel pada minggu ini dan dibaca di kereta.

Academia

"Pendidikan bukanlah persiapan untuk hidup. Pendidikan itu sendiri adalah kehidupan.” —Ki Hajar Dewantara

Academia. Tentang memahami sebuah bidang keilmuan. Pahami sebaik-baiknya karena ia selangka itu.

  1. Visi: Memahami dunia dengan sudut pandang yang lebih baik.
  2. Misi: (mendatang)
  3. Program:
    • Nama: Cumlaude
      Deskripsi: Mewujudkan nilai yang cukup untuk cumlaude.
      Target LR: IPK 3,6 + (2027)
      Target SR: Maksimalisasi UTS (Maret, April)
      Rancangan: Senam setelah hafalan dengan rancangan (awal, kombo barbel, kombo tiktok, kombo nyangkul, kombo tari). Tugas tiap satu hari satu. Matkul lain: merangkum.

Theologia

“(yaitu) surga ‘Adn yang mereka masuk ke dalamnya bersama orang-orang saleh dari bapak-bapaknya, istri-istrinya dan anak cucunya.” —Ar-Ra’du: 23

Theologia, ilmu ketuhanan. Tak mungkin seseorang memahaminya tanpa ber-Tuhan. Karena Allah perlu diimani dan ditaati.

  1. Visi: Surga bersama yang dicintai
  2. Misi:
  3. Program:

    • Nama: Baca Al-Quran
      Deskripsi: Membaca dengan baik, benar, santai, dan dinikmati.
      Target LR: Khatam
      Target SR: Surat pilihan + Artinya (Ramadhan)
      Rancangan: Maghrib

    • Nama: Hafalan Al-Quran
      Deskripsi: Menghafal dengan makhroj dan tajwid yang baik.
      Target LR: 1 Juz + Surat Pilihan (2027)
      Target SR: Surat pilihan + Artinya (April, Mei 2024)
      Rancangan: Shubuh surat baru dan murajaah.

Opposita

“Hanya ada 2 pilihan, menjadi apatis atau mengikuti arus. Tapi aku memilih untuk menjadi manusia merdeka.” —Soe Hok Gie

Jangan pernah menginginkan “kedamaian” padahal kamu tahu dunai sedang tak baik-baik saja. Opposita memicu sintesa.

  1. Visi: Menjadi antitesis untuk mendapatkan sintesis.
  2. Misi: (mendatang)
  3. Program:

    • Nama: Artikel dan Postingan Menyoal
      Deskripsi: Membuat artikel dan postingan yang menyoal/mengkritisi/mempertanyakan sesuatu.
      Tujuan LR: Menjadi figur oposisi (2027)
      Tujuan SR: Membuat artikel dan postingan pertama.
      Rancangan: Mencari topik yang cocok dan langsung dikaji dan dibuat (awal fase 2 sem 2).

    • Nama: Esai Video
      Deskripsi: coming soon

                                          Semarang, 24 Maret 2024

                                           ttd

                                         Gan Eden