It’s time to acknowledge my mistakes and stop ignoring them . I have failed in every aspect of life since last year’s April be it academic , no fap , relationships , health etc
I have been fapping on a more than regular basis . My marks are at an all time low at a very crucial time of my life . Parents have lost all hope . 12 boards are approaching in just 2 months and jee mains just after that and I am not even 1% prepared for them and instead working on my mental health and studying I find myself surrounded by relapses and errotic content .
I want the 15 year old sheamus who had control on his mind and body back!!!
Starting this regular diary to turn around things for me . Hope this helps me !!!
Hardly any urges today as it was just the first day . After a very long time the weather was pleasant after quit a few days of hot spells . Didn’t know where the day went and that is the goal . Studied , played , ate healthy and slept well .
STUDY GOALS FOR 31 AUG
BIN NOTES REV & EX 1 , 2
PERIODIC NOTES REV & NCERT TILL PG 82
HEAT NOTES REV & SHEET THEORY
MATHS 3 LECTURES
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 31 AUG
COLD SHOWER
10 MIN OF MEDITATION
20 MIN OF EXERCISE
2.5 L OF WATER
SLEEPING AT 8:30 PM
Couple of urges in afternoon went for the walk and they settled thus successfully on day 2 . My father advised me today to daily read daily newspaper but for me it’s a source of soft porn . They should have separate newspaper for all that models .
made it to day 3 was very busy today so didn’t give thoughts to bullshit .
Recently drinking a lot of water and suprisingly it somehow help fight urges maybe mind and body Freshens up !!!
STUDY GOALS FOR 2 SEPT
MATRICES 10 QUES
PERIODIC I.E
CAPACITANCE NOTES REV
CURRENT 10 QUES
HEAT THEORY
RELATIONS AND FUNCTIONS REV
INTEGRATION NOTES REV
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 2 SEPT
2.5 L WATER
20 MIN EXERCISE
10 MIN MEDITATION
COLD SHOWER
9 HRS STUDY
SLEEP ATLMOST BY 9 PM
Day 4 . Dad met with a minor accident today and was taking care of him whole day . Though we both don’t have a good chemistry but surely it was a very good feeling spending whole day taking care of him .
Got to eat healthy from now on and cut down all those fast foods filled with oil as I think cholesterol level Has risen a great deal . Have Freq chest pains becoz of this and they increase the possibility of a fatal heart attack ( learnt from sid shukla death ) .
STUDY GOALS FOR 3 SEPT
• MATRICES 20 QUES
• CURRENT 20 QUES
• ORM 1 REV
• RELATIONS AND FUNCTIONS REV
• CAPACITANCE REV
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 3 SEPT
• 2.5 L WATER
• MEDITATION
• EXERCISE
• 9 HRS STUDY
• COLD SHOWER
• SLEEPING 9 PM
7 days successfully . No urges today . Next 2 weeks are most important for study point of view as they will set the tone for the rest of year . Gonna go very hard at studies for next 2 weeks GOAL IS TO STUDY 10 HRS DAILY ( EXCLUDING CLASSES ) .
STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 6
P BLOCK — NITROGEN
PERIODIC PYQ
CURRENT 20 QUES
MATRICES 20 QUES
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR AUG 6
WAKE UP 3:00 AM
MEDITATION
EXERCISE
COLD SHOWER
10 HRS STUDY
SLEEPING AT 9:00 PM
Almost relapsed last night . wasn’t able to sleep for some reason and laid idle for almost 2 hrs trying to sleep . Got frustrated and thought something arousal and was just about to give up . Somehow delayed that thought and went for the cold shower and midnight and all thoughts vanished . Uffffff !!! Just survived
This hampered my study today as wasn’t able to get adequate sleep . But did managed 6 hrs today and now goal is to not fall below this either do better or come at par with this and if tomorrow I do better then that will become the base line
STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 7
P BLOCK — NITROGEN
CURRENT 20 QUES
INTEGRATION NOTES REV
R & F REV
CAPACITANCE NOTES REV
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 7
WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM
2.5 L WATER
MEDITATION
EXERCISE
COLD SHOWER
HOURLY JOURNAL
10 HRS STUDY
SLEEP AT 9:00 PM
A strange thing is happening since a week that as I go to sleep no matter how tired I am I can’t sleep I keep laying on bed for hours and end up getting frustrated . This is messing my whole day forcing me to work on my 50% capacity . It’s also not becoz of day naps as since 3 days I didn’t take a nap and still after working for 18 hrs I couldn’t sleep . Anyways …
STUDY GOAL FOR SEPT 9
P BLOCK ----- PHOSPHORUS
INTEGRATION 20 QUES
CAPACITANCE NOTES REV
CURRENT ELEC 20 QUES
ORM 1 REV
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 9
WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM ( SLEPT AT 3:00 AM AND WOKE UP AT 9 AM )
2.5 L WATER
MEDITATION
EXERCISE
COLD SHOWER
HOURLY JOURNAL
10 HRS STUDY
SLEEP AT 9:00 PM
DAY 11 — Urges getting stronger day by day but this too will pass . Slowly marching towards my longest Streak of 17 days .
Studied 6.5 hrs today so baseline changes from 6 to 6.5 and now I have be above or at par at with this . Not keeping up with MEDITATION and exercise but till i study consistently I have no regrets .
STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 10
• INTEGRATION 20 QUES
P BLOCK NCERT 5 PAGES
• PERIODIC NCERT 10 PAGES
• CAPACITANCE 20 QUES
• ORM 1 REV
• R & F REV
BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 10
• WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM
• 2.5 L WATER
• MEDITATION
• EXERCISE
• COLD SHOWER
• HOURLY JOURNAL
• 10 HRS STUDY
• SLEEP AT 9:00 PM
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