[17 M] sheamus' diary --- journey to a better self

It’s time to acknowledge my mistakes and stop ignoring them . I have failed in every aspect of life since last year’s April be it academic , no fap , relationships , health etc
I have been fapping on a more than regular basis . My marks are at an all time low at a very crucial time of my life . Parents have lost all hope . 12 boards are approaching in just 2 months and jee mains just after that and I am not even 1% prepared for them and instead working on my mental health and studying I find myself surrounded by relapses and errotic content .

I want the 15 year old sheamus who had control on his mind and body back!!!

Starting this regular diary to turn around things for me . Hope this helps me !!!

ME TO PMO ----

sheamus-brogue-kick

8 Likes

30 AUG

Hardly any urges today as it was just the first day . After a very long time the weather was pleasant after quit a few days of hot spells . Didn’t know where the day went and that is the goal . Studied , played , ate healthy and slept well :relieved::relieved: .

STUDY GOALS FOR 31 AUG

:white_check_mark: BIN NOTES REV & EX 1 , 2

:x: PERIODIC NOTES REV & NCERT TILL PG 82

:x: HEAT NOTES REV & SHEET THEORY

:x: MATHS 3 LECTURES

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 31 AUG

:white_check_mark: COLD SHOWER
:x: 10 MIN OF MEDITATION
:x: 20 MIN OF EXERCISE
:x: 2.5 L OF WATER
:x: SLEEPING AT 8:30 PM

2 Likes

31 AUG

Couple of urges in afternoon went for the walk and they settled thus successfully on day 2 . My father advised me today to daily read daily newspaper but for me it’s a source of soft porn :sweat_smile::sweat_smile: . They should have separate newspaper for all that models .

1 Like

1 SEPT

made it to day 3 was very busy today so didn’t give thoughts to bullshit .
Recently drinking a lot of water and suprisingly it somehow help fight urges maybe mind and body Freshens up !!!

STUDY GOALS FOR 2 SEPT

:x: MATRICES 10 QUES
:white_check_mark: PERIODIC I.E
:x: CAPACITANCE NOTES REV
:x: CURRENT 10 QUES
:x: HEAT THEORY
:x: RELATIONS AND FUNCTIONS REV
:white_check_mark: INTEGRATION NOTES REV

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 2 SEPT

:x: 2.5 L WATER
:x: 20 MIN EXERCISE
:x:10 MIN MEDITATION
:x: COLD SHOWER
:x: 9 HRS STUDY
:heavy_check_mark: SLEEP ATLMOST BY 9 PM

images (4)

3 Likes

2 SEPT

Day 4 :metal::metal: . Dad met with a minor accident today and was taking care of him whole day . Though we both don’t have a good chemistry but surely it was a very good feeling spending whole day taking care of him :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face: .

Got to eat healthy from now on and cut down all those fast foods filled with oil as I think cholesterol level Has risen a great deal . Have Freq chest pains becoz of this and they increase the possibility of a fatal heart attack ( learnt from sid shukla death :pensive::pensive: ) .

STUDY GOALS FOR 3 SEPT

• MATRICES 20 QUES
• CURRENT 20 QUES
• ORM 1 REV
• RELATIONS AND FUNCTIONS REV
• CAPACITANCE REV

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR 3 SEPT

• 2.5 L WATER
• MEDITATION
• EXERCISE
• 9 HRS STUDY
• COLD SHOWER
• SLEEPING 9 PM

images (6)

3 Likes

Take care bro… May god boosts his recovery.

3 Likes

He is doing well @_TIGER just some cuts and bruises

2 Likes

5 SEPT

7 days successfully . No urges today :slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face: . Next 2 weeks are most important for study point of view as they will set the tone for the rest of year . Gonna go very hard at studies for next 2 weeks GOAL IS TO STUDY 10 HRS DAILY ( EXCLUDING CLASSES ) .

STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 6

:x: P BLOCK — NITROGEN
:white_check_mark: PERIODIC PYQ
:x: CURRENT 20 QUES
:white_check_mark: MATRICES 20 QUES

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR AUG 6

:white_check_mark: WAKE UP 3:00 AM
:x: MEDITATION
:x: EXERCISE
:white_check_mark: COLD SHOWER
:x: 10 HRS STUDY
:white_check_mark: SLEEPING AT 9:00 PM

1 Like

SEPT 6

Almost relapsed last night . wasn’t able to sleep for some reason and laid idle for almost 2 hrs trying to sleep . Got frustrated and thought something arousal and was just about to give up . Somehow delayed that thought and went for the cold shower and midnight and all thoughts vanished . Uffffff !!! Just survived :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

This hampered my study today as wasn’t able to get adequate sleep . But did managed 6 hrs today and now goal is to not fall below this either do better or come at par with this and if tomorrow I do better then that will become the base line :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 7

:white_check_mark: P BLOCK — NITROGEN
:x: CURRENT 20 QUES
:white_check_mark: INTEGRATION NOTES REV
:x: R & F REV
:x: CAPACITANCE NOTES REV

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 7

:white_check_mark: WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM
:x: 2.5 L WATER
:x: MEDITATION
:x: EXERCISE
:white_check_mark: COLD SHOWER
:x: HOURLY JOURNAL
:x: 10 HRS STUDY
:x: SLEEP AT 9:00 PM

SEPT 8

A strange thing is happening since a week that as I go to sleep no matter how tired I am I can’t sleep I keep laying on bed for hours and end up getting frustrated . This is messing my whole day forcing me to work on my 50% capacity :confused::confused::confused: . It’s also not becoz of day naps as since 3 days I didn’t take a nap and still after working for 18 hrs I couldn’t sleep :frowning::frowning::frowning: . Anyways …

STUDY GOAL FOR SEPT 9

:white_check_mark: P BLOCK ----- PHOSPHORUS
:white_check_mark: INTEGRATION 20 QUES
:white_check_mark: CAPACITANCE NOTES REV
:x: CURRENT ELEC 20 QUES
:x: ORM 1 REV

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 9

:x: WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM ( SLEPT AT 3:00 AM AND WOKE UP AT 9 AM :neutral_face::neutral_face: )
:x: 2.5 L WATER
:x: MEDITATION
:x: EXERCISE
:x: COLD SHOWER
:x: HOURLY JOURNAL
:x: 10 HRS STUDY
:x: SLEEP AT 9:00 PM

1 Like

SEPT 9

DAY 11 — Urges getting stronger day by day but this too will pass . Slowly marching towards my longest Streak of 17 days .

Studied 6.5 hrs today so baseline changes from 6 to 6.5 and now I have be above or at par at with this . Not keeping up with MEDITATION and exercise but till i study consistently I have no regrets .

STUDY GOALS FOR SEPT 10

• INTEGRATION 20 QUES
:white_check_mark: P BLOCK NCERT 5 PAGES
• PERIODIC NCERT 10 PAGES
• CAPACITANCE 20 QUES
• ORM 1 REV
• R & F REV

BASIC ACTIVITIES FOR SEPT 10

• WAKE UP AT 3:00 AM
• 2.5 L WATER
• MEDITATION
• EXERCISE
• COLD SHOWER
• HOURLY JOURNAL
• 10 HRS STUDY
• SLEEP AT 9:00 PM

1 Like

Something has happened to app forum doesn’t open keeping this thread alive with this and will try to find a solution or have to shift to browser full time :confused::confused::confused: