[17 M] Rezboy247 "Hard Mode" journal

Agree one million percent.

I’ve started listening to the audiobook of EasyPeasy method, and until now it’s been very insightful. I can recommend the one by the guy with the really deep voice, the one with the yellow-orange thumbnails on YouTube when you look for EasyPeasy method audiobook. He’s got a mega download link for the MP3s. I can understand if you don’t want to listen to it, or read it, because you don’t want to be in the “nofap” mindset, but I think it might help.
The book also criticises counting days. You’re only counting how long you last until you fail again.

Anyways,
It’s good that you’ve been focusing on what matters.
Glad to hear from you again

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Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll give it a listen and let you know how it helped.

Good to see you again @Attempt_Two_Electric_Boogaloo !

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Day 11

Bernard Hopkins was one of the oldest boxers to still compete at the highest level. That’s because he took care of his body. Longevity is possible, but you’re the one who has to take care of yourself.

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Powerful message.

Definitely take good care of your body.
Last year, the realisation hit me hard.
I could not and still cannot train my body as hard as I want to. I’ll be out in two to three weeks, for a month, or more.

Still feels weird saying “last year” about 2020, haha.

Keep improving and making yourself happy man!

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Hey guys! I missed everyone here so I’m going to post an update not only for you guys, but also for myself.

Currently I’m on 6 days without pmo. Sometime between now and the last time I posted I got up to 17 days without pmo. That’s the longest I have gotten in so long. But after that I fell off and almost completely fell in the cycle of pmo, it consumed me. It’s like I wasn’t even trying to resist the urge, I was numb. It was at this time that I was stuck at home since I got COVID-19 somehow. It reminded me about the time I was stuck at home after my surgery not able to do anything except nothing. It was hell, just like after my surgery. But after I was clear from COVID I started working out and went to my weekly boxing class, I was out of breath from barely doing anything, but I learned so much. It reminded me of the first time I started boxing with a coach. It’s hard to explain but it was magical, almost like an out of body experience. Having that same feeling from when I first started boxing, it re-lit the fire that I’ve always had with me. Thank god, I was beginning to lose myself to porn and not working out, I forgot what drove me forward. But through that experience I found my old self again. The person who loves boxing. The person who is willing to put in the work to get what he wants out of life. Fast forward a week, and I’m now on a streak of 6 days. I’ve deleted all social media and I’m now reading a box called “Psycho-Cybernetics” since I heard it was a good one compared to other self help books. Also, I forgot to mention that I’ve been going back to doing CrossFit 3 times a week like I used to before Covid. I kid you not, I have been pushing myself so damn hard that I could barely move the next day. I remember on Wednesday I collapsed after the workout. (Should I start posting the CrossFit workouts that I do so you guys could do it too?) Another thing that caused me to take no pmo seriously was the last day I relapsed. I was home alone and let myself slip. After that I was so mad at myself for letting it happen. I’m nowhere near addicted to porn but I still let myself fall just because it’s the easy way out. It’s not like I had no choice, I had a choice between a healthy life and instant gratification which leads to more unhealthy habits. I remember that day I started walking around my house and telling myself my future goals and what I wanted out of life. It’s really therapeutic to just talk to yourself out loud about whatever you have been burying deep inside. I remember crying because of how powerful it was. On that day I decided that I will be giving up porn not only for myself, but for the people around me.

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Whoa, should be interesting to see your routine though :muscle:

Push yourself and don’t relapse. noFap increases endurance as well.

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Thanks man it means a lot, we got this :muscle:t4: Also I’ll start posting the workouts so that everyone could benefit!

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Working out is great to keep yourself discipined. Sometimes I watch my favourites fights, just to get a thought “I want to be like them, I need to be strong”. Be strong brother, be the one you want to be, love boxing :wink:

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We are all together bro. Keep pushing; keep hustling. Don’t look back and soon the world will be yours :handshake::handshake::handshake:

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Yeah that’s the best! Something about how Mike Tyson makes it seem like the other boxer doesn’t belong there always gets me going haha

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Hey thanks Tagore, I’m glad I’m back fighting again, I felt lost without everyone on this app. We got this✊🏽

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Day 9
Today’s Workout:


Make sure you warm up properly if you want to attempt

Today I decided that I am going to try and gain some muscle mass/weight. I am so sick and tired of being the skinny tall kid. So, I’m going to change that.

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@Rezboy247 great workout :muscle: do you use weights for some of the exercises?

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@Ash_Matt In this work out no, but in almost every other CrossFit workout yes haha today was just all bodyweight which is pretty uncommon. But thanks, man! I’m so damn sore today lmao.

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I have to come clean to you guys and admit that I’ve relapsed twice a few days ago.

I’m not going to blame anyone but myself. I chose to relapse late that night and now I’m going to live with that reality. Rather than regret my decision, I am going to catch up to what I could’ve had if I decided not to relapse. Meaning, I’m pushing hard in every single thing I do to whether it be school, boxing, or social life so that it’s like I’ve never even relapsed in the first place. I believe that this is the healthiest way to recover after a relapse. There is no reason to put yourself down, because if you do that you are way more prone to go back to your old habits and those negative comments about yourself deep deep into your subconscious mind and slowly eat away at you causing self doubt and anxiety.

It’s in the past, don’t let it happen again, and move on. Stop dwelling on the past.

Anyways I pushed super hard with this workout and carried 35 pound dumbbells which is way more than I used to be able to do.

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You should try association when you relapse. This means you sit down, and think of all the negative things that you have caused by your relapse. I sat on the toilet and visualised a state of low energy, a lack of confidence. I confronted myself with past situations where I lacked confidence to ask and do simple things. I associate that with relapsing, and urges too. Do the same every time you get an urge. This might seem stupid, or basic. Of course you know it’s bad for you. Of course you won’t relapse again. You’re full of energy now. But you won’t be in a few weeks, that’s the problem. It can happen anytime, to anyone. You’ll be tired, and your addict brain takes over with little resistance.

This is why we need to program our brains to work for us, to serve our goals.
When you’re feeling great, try to visualise your success and, most importantly, visualise your journey to get there.

What also helped me immensely, was this simple video: https://youtu.be/-mAWGJev6AQ

I “wrote” down my reflection of the situation, but I wrote it on my table, without ink. I don’t like the idea of writing sensitive information on paper, where someone could find it, so I wrote without leaving a trace.
I masturbated after taking an afternoon nap. It happened almost unconsciously. In the end, I found that one of the problems was me going on instagram or YouTube when I had finished my work for the morning, instead of going outside and enjoying life. The trigger cascade started there.
I then decided to go for a run right then and there, in the rain. I hadn’t run for months. It felt great! Part of the happiness was also me figuring out my shit by myself, instead of blindly following advice by some internet guru. It really feels good.

I hope this can help you get back on track.
All the best

Good seeing you again :grin:

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@Attempt_Two_Electric_Boogaloo Hey man this is really helpful, thank you so much! It’s good to hear from you again

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Dear @Rezboy247 ,

Our choices make the pathways to our life- what will be the future us.

We all make wrong choices in some point in life. But only brave are those who know not to commit blunders repeatedly.

You are a great guy in the pursuit of greatness. Make great choices and contribute a great human to this society.

All the very best.
Keep improving.

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I couldn’t have said it any better :raised_hands:t4: We have a choice to get up, brush ourselves off, and keep moving, or keep making the same mistake.

This almost brought a tear to my eye. I want to make a significant impact on the world through boxing. I want to spread the word of my people through the means of boxing. I will try my hardest to make my dream become reality. Thank you @JumpingBuddha .

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Today I just wanted to hop and let you guys know that I am a man of my word. Today I pushed myself all the way up to twelve 3 minute rounds on the heavy bag. After my last relapse I said that I would be giving my 100% with everything I do to catch up with who I could’ve been if I did not relapse. Today is proof that I am willing to do whatever it takes to catch up. I even did 3 round of jump rope after.

Keep in mind that I usually only do 6 three minute rounds on the heavy bag, but not today. I really pushed myself beyond what I thought was originally possible. It feels good. It might have something to do with me listening to affirmations on YouTube right before bed.

I haven’t told you guys this but I am trying to gain some weight. So far I have gained about 3 or 4 pounds. I have been eating so much it’s almost hard to think about food. I’ve always had trouble gaining weight but the easiest of time losing it. I am changing that. Right now I’m about 145 and my goal is to get up to 160 pounds. I have never in my life weighed this much but I am willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

Also, dm me if you want my insta @ since I’m starting to post (I’ll only let some have it)

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