July 15, 2020
I feel great. I feel alive. I’m happy. I thank God that I didn’t relapse the past few days since those were the days I used to relapse. Even though I felt depressed on days 2 and 3 I didn’t use that as an excuse to relapse like I used to. I’m not gonna lie to you guys/girls, it’s been a battle every single day since I last relapsed. It wasn’t easy at all. I was going through some personal problems that I didn’t tell anyone about, not even you guys. But I’m glad to say I’m better than ever now that I dealt with that personal problem head on.
Today i didn’t get a lot of sleep so I didn’t really feel great during the morning. My stomach also hurt, probably from pushing myself so hard last night lol. So I ate some food and it felt a little better. Recently I’ve been super interested in producing music so I spent a lot of the day researching. I’ve always wanted to make some type of music but I was never super confident in myself back then, but now I feel like it’s a possibility. It’s another way to express myself so I think it’s a very good hobby to have even if I don’t make a lot of money from it, but you never know lol.
In the middle of the day my parents invited me to do a workout with them so I decided to go through with it. I had no intention of working out today because I felt like trash but I basically forced myself to go through with it. It was an intense 20 minute Tabata workout with a half mile run at the end of it. It was tough. But I pushed myself past my limits. I feel so good when it comes to working out recently, maybe it’s because I haven’t done it in awhile? I just know that I feel great afterwards. It’s been hard to not smile lately lol so I’m super happy about that.