July 14, 2020
Today I woke up feeling great. It’s been awhile since that has happened. I think I woke up happy because last night I stayed up a little bit and started writing in my journal (personal journal not this one) about what I could possibly want to do I’m the future job wise.
Today I finally realized that women are not worth the struggle. I came to the conclusion that if a girl doesn’t put in the same amount of effort into the relationship as you, then she isn’t worth it. This girl has been causing me nothing but stress and anxiety recently and I’m tired of it. It’s not that I won’t ever text her again, I just won’t be putting as much time into the relationship. It’s as simple as that. I’m waiting for someone who puts effort into our relationship instead of someone who expects me to do everything.
Just about an hour ago, I took what @Deadpoolgupta said to heart.
When I saw this, I was playing video games and like he said, sabotaging myself since I didn’t do anything physically demanding all day today. So what did I decide to do you ask? I got my ass off of my nice and comfortable bed and ran an 8 minute mile. Ive never been able to run an 8 minute mile before in my entire life, even when I was in peak physical condition. That means I pushed myself to my limits. I damn near passed out on the treadmill. But I didn’t give up. Even when it seemed impossible, I kept going till I was barely able to breathe of feel my toes. I seriously almost threw up after I was done. Me being able to do this proves I’m capable of more than I think. Fuck porn. I’m stronger than these constant urges. I believe I will never relapse again. Porn is something only weak men do to hide from there day to day issues. Real men face those challenges head on and never even think of taking the easy way out. You all are capable of so much more than you think, you just have to be confident in yourself and your actions. I believe in all of you.