Ambitious One's diary - The Beginning

Hey there ! Aadi here . I have been a nofapper since Jan 2021. I have learnt , experienced many things and unlocked great feats in this mean time . I have lost and stood up many times and still pursuing the same .
I had streaks of 2 months and 5 months respectively before losing control suddenly 29 days ago . I have started nofap again with a new level of determination , energy and motivation than ever before . And now I am working to remove this addiction out of my life forever .

I’ll be posting my daily routines everyday and try to do better .
Please do support me and each other , share your experiences and comment for improvements .
STAYIN MOTIVATED , STAYIN STRONG .

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Yo bro :sunglasses::sunglasses:
##20 character

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Tracking this topic now.
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Day 30

:arrow_right:Woke up : 7:00 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Workout : 30 mins :white_check_mark:
Meditation - 10 mins
:arrow_right: Study - 3 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold Shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: No useless stuff on social media + no fantasizing (yeah , I used to fantasize a lot of sexual things but now I am getting rid of it )
:arrow_right: School work with motivational music :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 1:30 hrs of playing :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:

I have completed a month , after so many days . I am feeling quite energetic , motivated and having clarity in my brain .
The day was better than an average , maybe because I knew I have to report it here at night so I have to be productive after all . And that is what I am gonna do everyday , because of this I will be wasting less time .
Studies properly , solved mathematical problems for brain refreshment , watched a movie (completely safe , nothing bad or something to worry about ) . I did a really great job and landed on my expectations . After almost two months , I achieved an energetic , clear and focused mind . Will utilize this in my studies and not gonna let it go . Now I’ll try to improve day by day , use as much time as I can , increase my workout and meditation time which I think is not enough . And finally , reduce my screen time .

#STAYIN STRONG , #STAYIN MOTIVATED :fire:

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Congratulations mate :fire:

Yes yes, that’s why I post daily on my diary too, this forum offers good accountability.
Even when we had a bad day, posting here about it gives a certain motivation for next day

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Day 31

:arrow_right: Woke up - 5:30 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Workout - 35 mins (Did 30 mins bicycling too) :white_check_mark:
Meditation - 5 mins :sneezing_face: :
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 1 hour (Gave myself some relaxation time) :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: School Work :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 2 hours of playing :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:

The day was more of a LET IT PASS typies . Had erotic dreams and a slight nightfall yesterday . I am pretty much exhausted of this thing .
Meditation time was quite less because I am not able to concentrate properly . Rest , the day was on average . Watched nothing bad , no sexual thoughts . A bit of unfocused mind took the day unproductive . Will try to improve once I get rid of nightfall , at least preventing it from happening in every 2 -3 days .

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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Day 32

:arrow_right: Woke up - 6:00 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right DIDN’T DO WORKOUT BECAUSE I WAS HAVING INTENSE MUSCLE PAIN :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Did Isha Kriya meditation 15 minutes :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 1:30 hours :woozy_face:
:arrow_right: School Work :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleep :white_check_mark:

Well , I faced heavy urges today and I almost had watched porn but I stopped myself , did meditation and to distract myself , went out to watch a movie . I wasted a lot of time today and now its getting out of hand . I am have now taken firm decision to stop wasting my time . Tomorrow , I’ll set a target of 4 hours study , 30 min workout and 15 min meditation . If I do not satisfy this target , I’ll punish myself with packing up of my laptop .

I will start reading some good nofap beneficial books from tomorrow , at least 15 minutes a day and I’ll mention what I learnt here . I feel that I might face nightfall tonight because of bad thumbnails of the videos I was about to watch , but to overcome it , I’ll meditate once before sleeping . The day was quite struggling but now I believe I have started to build control over my thoughts . WIsh I just don’t mess things up .

#STAYIN MOTIVATED # STAYIN STRONG

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Day 33*

:arrow_right: Woke up - 5:30 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Workout - 30 mins :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 10 minutes meditation :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 3.30 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: School work :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Book reading :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:

The day was quite better . I was very productive , woke up early , did workout and started studying . I did not waste my time and I feel proud for that . Small urges striked in the afternoon but I persisted them easily . Attended a small party , had fun with friends . Got my cricket kit stolen .
I feel satisfied by the day’s work . I am taking a leave from all these tomorrow , I will go to an adventure park to relax myself .

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Day 34
:arrow_right: Woke up - 7:00 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 15 minutes meditation :white_check_mark
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:

Nothing else :joy:
First of all apologies for reporting late . I went for a picnic yesterday so it was generally a break from my regular freakin lifestyle . I went to an adventure park , water park , mall and finally visited a wonderful temple . I enjoyed a lot and was away from all types of grief , sadness and stress . It was a really good time .
But to spoil things again , nightfall occured last night :smiling_face_with_tear: :melting_face: .
After every nightfall , I hope this might be the last one but it’s never the end . I am trying not to take it seriously and believe in time but I can’t afford semen loss at this time .
I really need to change my ways .I I am feeling quite unenergetic and exhausted due to yesterday’s travel so I’ll take rest today and will continue my daily schedule from tomorrow . I have a lot of things to do .

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Day 35
:arrow_right: Woke up - 10:00 am (slept at 12 and was exhausted as hell)
No workout (body pain and fever)
:arrow_right: 15 minutes meditation :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 2 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Book reading :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Playing 2 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:

So , here I am back after a little break . Now I will engage into nofap and studies again despite I have to attend two marriages tomorrow and day after that :joy: but I’ll try to study in the mean time I get .
Today afternoon , I had a small thought session in which I reminded myself for being positive . After , I posted about nightfall and got motivating advices from you guys and tried different ways to prevent nightfalls , I still suffered from it twice and that shattered my motivation . I am pretty much aware that it’s a part of this and that…
I still get worried most probably because its being an obstacle in semen retention and as s student , it affects my brain negatively .
I watched some videos regarding it , planned everything again and decided to BE POSITIVE as far as I can , that’s a fast way out of it along with the measures I have been taking . I’ll just lose my worries now and take things normally .
This year teached me a lot of things up till now and there’s still lot to come . I have been low and depressed for so many days but now its time to shine and rise again :star:

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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Day 36
:arrow_right: Woke up - 7:00 am
:arrow_right: Workout - 20 mins :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 15 minutes meditation :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 3 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Book reading :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Playing 2 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Regular conversation with my homies :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:

The day was great , I am starting to come back on track . Things seem to be more clear and understanding now . I am gaining my memory back and able to interpret reality clearly . I couldn’t study much today but take care of it from tomorrow . I opened and played my electric keyboard after a long time for a sake of calmness . One another friend of mine is joining me in workout from tomorrow . He is a PMO addict too and has told me his situation today , I decided to help him . He’ my neighbour actually , so I am gonna support him in nofap . I feel more open , clear and productive . I just need to prevent nightfall further .

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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I am writing this diary early because I will be off town tonight . I fell sick today and taking it as an excuse , wasted all of the time :unamused: . I have recovered from stress , unstable mind , forgetfulness and all but I really need to develop concentration and sincereness towards my work (studies and assignments) . As a prevention , I logged out my instagram and blocked youtube for some days . I’ll just use telegram and discord twice a day to communicate with My friends and homies .

  • I don’t use phone , I have a pc in which I keep sticked all day . I want to set screen timers or detox applications on it if possible , if someone knows any , please let me know . It’ll be really beneficial .

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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Day 38

I won’t make it long , I rested all day because I did not take proper rest yesterday and was sick already so my illness got increased and I had to spent the whole day in bed . My complete body was paining like hell so I couldn’t do workout either . Still managed to hit the coaching classes . Went for a walk outside in the evening to feel fresh , I’ll try to study for an hour tonight and then rest . I will be well by tomorrow ig . Looking to get back on track from tomorrow .

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Get well soon! Take proper care!

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Nothing today , health gone worse . Trying to recover , the night will be hard . See you guys tomorrow .

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Day 41
:arrow_right: Woke up - 6:30 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Workout - 30 mins :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 15 minutes meditation :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 3 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: School work :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Book reading :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Evening bicycle ride :white_check_mark:

I have pretty much recovered now and I decide to get back onto things again . The day was great , did workout after 3 days (felt pleasured) . Finally had some really delicious breakfast after weeks of chappati everyday :smiling_face_with_tear: . Did some household stuff like cleaning my room and study table , cleaning the roof pillars etc… Couldn’t study that much (I really need to work on this or else my whole vacation will remain unproductive) .

Now as it has been 40 days - I am starting to see the effects , after weeks full of suffering , mind’s finally starting to be clear , memory gets better (better than the past times , though I still forget a few things but I decide not to stress much anymore , that fuels the issue ) .
Little urges were felt but somehow resisted it . As a response , I have set whole 2 blockers on my browser and 1 adult blocker . The site blockers have blocked all the unnecessary sites that waste my time as well as the key words which I use while searching porn . So I won’t be able to search anything bad either . Adult blockers monitors my screen as well so its a double layer protection :)) . Feeling happy and my mind is dancing like

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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Day 42
:arrow_right: Woke up - 6:30 am :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Workout - 30 mins :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: 15 minutes meditation :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Cold shower :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Study - 4 hrs :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: School work :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Book reading :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Gayatri Mantra chanting before sleeping :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Evening bicycle ride :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Daily math practice :white_check_mark:
:arrow_right: Youtube detox :white_check_mark:

Ok I have a story to share with you guys . Yesterday , I talked to an old friend of mine (ngl , this is the same person who taught me about porn and fapping) . I can never forgive him for that but its never the person’s fault only , you yourself are to be blame for it too , anyways I was too young at that time so yeah…
We were in class 7th when we last met physically (I feel happy leaving that place :yum: ) , I started watching porn since then on his advice :smiling_face_with_tear: . I was not a typical addict , it was under control and fapping was quite rare , I did it once in a few months but I knew all that at such a young age . He did that too and told me websites to watch . I left the school in the middle of the session because of my father’s transfer , anyhow completed 7th in new school but lockdown started when I just reached 8th . Now this was the time I fell onto this and this was also the time when puberty hit me and my body started to prepare semen . So technically I starting wasting semen ever since it started to form , I never have had its benefits :melting_face:. But today I am not gonna talk about myself , I am going to tell about an experience that I had of life .

So that friend about which I told , lets name him PETER :spider: (made up name privacy ).
I always remembered Peter as an average student who was not very good at studies but was blessed with MUSIC skills :notes: . All girls of the whole class were attracted him , I wanted to be a guy like that too :joy: so I made friendship with him , in his influence , I started music and once I started I realized that I had better voice lol nvm . We were pretty good frands (chaddi buddies) . I helped him in his studies , he taught me some music . But this sharing got more than studies and music . Before I met him , I used to be the MOST SINCERE , SILENT , INNOCENT , INTELLIGENT :innocent: kid loved by teachers but hated by classmates :joy: . He was my first BEST BUDDY , I had many before but they all moved with other guys (sed lyf !). I met PETER and I got changed completely , both positively and negatively . Positive things which came were that I started to communicate and speak up to people , became confident , he taught me to be free and independent and peaked out where I lacked . But to contradict this , I got in friend circle having full adult mind , the kid who never even raised his voice against anyone , now started to abuse , I became talkative , dirty minded like them , started gaming and my studies started to get affected (worst version of me ever , but girls liked this fr :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: . I then realized that trying to impress girls is destroying urself). Thank God that I moved from there , else I might not even be writing this journal now . So I moved to other place , fapped 1 nd half year and then started nofap in 9th
Peter still fapped till the end of 9th year . He still did all those things , abused , watched porn , fapped and spent time attracting girls . I was lucky that I realized before .
But things change right here , I had a conversation with him after a long time and I was mind struck by what I got to know . He got a guider in his life , started nofapping , stopped porn , started studying seriously , scored amazing in the tests , left his friend circle and above all HE BECAME A BRAHMACHARI(even after more girls started to like him )… I was like

So the guy whom I joked at , became a lifechanger for me :joy: . This happens nowhere XD
I was feeling raged and jealous at him , like how did he do this , I mean he was a damn addicted and ruined guy . I was shocked for sometime and I became dead serious , at that moment , I was committed that I have to do it too . Not only nofap , I am literally doing it from a year but also I need to improve myself in other things like he did . I need to stop using cuss words , stop thinking about girls or getting attracted to them and focus on JUST MY STUDIES . These are more important for me now because I again shifted to a new place a month ago and the school I am in is of top level , the students , the teachers and the city itself . And I was wasting time doing useless things + to add to my difficulties , its class 10th .

I have written a whole diary in my notepad as soon as I had self realization , I blocked distractions , changed my laptop to by study partner and started working towards my goal . Now I everyday look at that diary and remind myself of my goals .

#STAYIN MOTIVATED #STAYIN STRONG

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Ik it went too long , but I really wanted to express it to you guys

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Oh daaaaaammmnnnnnn :joy::joy::fire:

Same reaction here :joy:, I was expecting that he would have gotten a guider like a therapist or something because he got messed up by depression or something :joy:, but next line was :100::fire:

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