Today was a great day after so many challenging days . My mind and body are settling down and I am starting to feel well . I was able to focus , just a bit tired now . Completing some work and then I’ll sleep . Hope this positivity remains .
EVERYDAY I WAKE UP THEN I START TO BREAK UP , LONG LIVES A MAN WITHOUT LOVE
So as soon as I grew happier and confident that things are going good , a heavy nightfall occurred last night
It took me so much time to reach here and again same semen loss .
Well , I was feeling tired as weak asf in the morning , and mind was also not working properly but I have accepted it as truth now . I doubt if sudden nightfall occurred due to stopped workout . Is is possible ?
Wasted all day cursing my destiny and situation . Bad day , felt unenergetic and sleepy all day . Mind more clouded due to nightfall . I just question that why can’t I be happy and complete for a few days . These things are happening since the start of this year . One by one , worse things happening . A new one starts as soon as one ends . Is this a test or what !!
I don’t mind anything else but it is disturbing my studies , I can’t understand anything with this clouded mind . I try my best but no avail …
Tell me something, boy / Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void? Or do you need more? / Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore? I’m falling / In all the good times I find myself / Longing for a change / And in the bad times I fear myself
I have started to accept what’s happening , and idk how but it is working to a great extent . I have finally learnt to be positive , happy and relaxed and just focus on studies .
Other side , I am having very bad dreams nowadays , it feels like I am high while sleeping . Its a mental burden , sometimes also causes nightfall . Still , everything gets fine . No urges or any type of things occur nowadays . Things are going smooth .
Another average day , woke up at 5 . Its really exhausting nowadays , waking up early . The same lazy routine , travelling to bus stop , reaching school , falling asleep during classes , sitting like dead body for 6 hours . Coming home , going to coaching and finally bed .I am becoming Nobita . The vacation has had an effect on me . Got a good news that there will be no pre - mid term so I don’t need to rush as much as I was doing . Will prepare directly for mid term . It will be difficult and I need to be ready from months ago . Still I got some time .
I need a change in schedule anyhow , I have noticed that I feel so lazy in morning that it takes me more than half an hour to get ready for school , even if I wake up at 5 , the situation remains same . I need to learn to be a bit fast .
Bye
Naice day , trying to overcome a few things . Had fun , so much of wait came to and end . Sat straight hours to watch stranger things vol2 . Got overwhelmed with emotional and powerful highs and lows . It is still echoing in my mind .
Weekend is here , relaxing time . Issues a book from library on memory power and related issues . This new school has a library full of philosophical and personality books . Now , I will issue such books every week . :))
And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God, And I’d get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building.